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The missives contained in Mollygood’s comments sections run the gamut from funny to enlightening to choleric to unreadable, but rarely are they boring and even rarer (thankfully) are they peppered with “OMG she is hottttttttt!” or “z”s in the place of “s”s. Since the swift death of Mollygood, Bad and Poetic, the best of these bon mots have gone relatively unnoticed. The Commies will change all that. Each week, the very best will be highlighted here for greater public consumption and, of course, judgment.

Best question for Cord: halfsmoke

Tired of Fergie and thongs? You were previously interested in Fergie and thongs?

Lamest joke ever that actually made us laugh out loud: Lisa (#1)

I’m a mani-pedifile. Ok, not really, but the joke had to be made. All right, I am going to go file my pedis, see you lates, gates.

Dumbest recipe of all time: April

Recipe: Anorexia
Servings: One
Note: The recipe you are about to make is an acquired taste.

Ingredients:
1 cup low self-esteem
2 cup self-control
3/4 cup determination
1 1/2 strength
2/3 cup solitude
2 Tbsp routine
3 Tbsp secrecy and lies
2 tsp jealousy
3 tsp guilt
a dash of anger
and 1/2 cup tears (optional)

Directions:
Combine all ingredients and mix in a fragile soul.

Beat until all feeling is gone.
Place in a shallow bowl and serve with a tall glass of Diet coke.
Dish is ready to enjoy - guaranteed to disappear right before your eyes!!

Best parent: Stoner conspiracy

Good for you queencrone. I totally got suckered by the Maury people. ‘Oh come on our great make over show, it will be fun’ that was the day I found out my 12 year old was a whore.

Most pathetic 14-year-old who actually thinks the Jacksons read Mollygood: jackson kid

im only 14, and would love to see them perform. they closest i can get to a live performance is on youtube…
if you can see this jackson 5 PLEASE GO ON STAGE ONE MORE TIME FOR ME !!!!! : )

Good advice from someone who also needs to stop trying so hard: Elle

wow these two need to stop trying so hard! im sick of hearing about these two, wheres the good stuff of celebs who try to stay out of the way of paparazzi like kimora lee simmons or something?

Worst idea of a “fair trade”: Billy

We sent you Posh …you send us Paris and a dog. Fair trade.

Apr 21, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 65 Responses
Related Posts

• 07.07.08: The Commies (Comments: 10)
• 06.30.08: The Commies (Comments: 32)
• 06.23.08: The Commies (Comments: 11)
• 06.18.08: The Creepies (Comments: 30)
• 06.16.08: The Commies (Comments: 23)

Tagged: The Commies
Comments (65)

No. 1 queencrone says:

Congrats everyone!! xxoo

Posted: Apr 21, 2008 at 8:54 pm
No. 2 Luz says:

meh.

Posted: Apr 21, 2008 at 9:14 pm
No. 3 jujubees says:

I love me some Billy. But to Elle, do you really know who Kimora Lee Simmons is? The woman with a reality tv show, right? Yeah, she doesn’t really hide from the paparazzi too hard.

Posted: Apr 21, 2008 at 9:23 pm
No. 4 YerMom says:

I love Elle’s love for Kimora. I love to see real fans out there. And on that note, Yes, I have met Corey Feldman.

Posted: Apr 21, 2008 at 9:42 pm
No. 5 mae says:

Whitney must’ve been in a bad mood when she did todays commies.

Posted: Apr 21, 2008 at 9:45 pm
No. 6 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

I love me some April! (It’s not the same without you. The PROANAS, whom have taken over, will follow your recipe to the last teaspoon.)

Today is Robert Smith’s birthday.

Posted: Apr 21, 2008 at 9:52 pm
No. 7 brianna says:

it’s been my long-time goal to get into the commies. never happened.

is it weird that i totally have a crush on cord? what’s his deal anyways. if he’s gay, then i’m embarrassed for mentioning it.

Posted: Apr 21, 2008 at 10:20 pm
No. 8 ilnazhad says:

I have a crush on Cord, too, so it’s not weir.. wait, I’m actually totally fucked in the head. brianna, you probably could get a commie if you just posted more often. Unless you’re me and you say drunkassbitch shit on the mormon post that even qc can’t fix for you.. i’ll get over it..

Posted: Apr 21, 2008 at 11:34 pm
No. 9 ilnazhad says:

Whitney is turning into a negatron! These totally seemed like our favourite misantrophe’s picks! The man is spreading his bitchassness!

Posted: Apr 21, 2008 at 11:37 pm
No. 10 queencrone says:

Ilnazhad, your drunk posts are better than my well thought out sober posts every time.

I look forward to what you have to say, and you never disappoint, you always deliver the finest.

(See, look at #9.)

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 12:04 am
No. 11 brianna says:

does everyone have a crush on cord?
cord, i thought we had something special.

you’re right ilnazhad, i do need to post more often. however, im fairly new to the mollygood scene, and from what i’ve gathered (or made up in my head) it seems like the post-ers are this small crew of people who all know of something going on here that i seem to want to know too.
you know, like in high school, there was always that interesting group that you wanted to be friends with such as the theater kids or the art fags.

and now we all want to know, at which point did this turn into a therapy session: after i professed my love for a blogger i’ve never met or after the point where i admitted i always wanted to be an artfag?

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 12:04 am
No. 12 brianna says:

i think what i was trying to say was.. expect more posts?

the commies will never see it coming.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 12:05 am
No. 13 YerMom says:

I feel you Brianna, I am slowly trying to inplant myself within the crew… it seems like such a great honor.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 12:10 am
No. 14 queencrone says:

brianna, the difference from high school is, everyone gets to sit here at the table together.

We all (you included) have something interesting to bring.

However, I am going to have to insist that Ilhaznad gets first dibs on Cord.

:-)

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 12:11 am
No. 15 queencrone says:

Plus, the good thing is that you don’t have to have perfect make up or the right shoes.

Good Lord that was so much pressure. :-)

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 12:12 am
No. 16 YerMom says:

And they love beer! Yay!

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 12:14 am
No. 17 brianna says:

but what if i already have perfect makeup and the right shoes?

if ilh’s gets first dibs, then i am definitely to be incorporated into the mollygood crowd, through reason of ‘take pity on me’.

we should totally make a mollygood facebook group. then we know we’ve made it.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 12:29 am
No. 18 saddy-pants says:

snorey borey commies today, huh? I’m grouchy.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 12:31 am
No. 19 ilnazhad says:

brianna… did you just call us venomous high schoolers? The regulars stick together, but they would behave in the same manner with you too if you posted, well, regularly.
And I think your mentioning of you crush on Cord is really creepy. You should never do it again. Never mention his pretty hands. Or his humble smile. Or the way his Bests make… oh, sorry, my hands don’t want to stay on the keyboard anymo..

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 12:41 am
No. 20 brianna says:

no! not venemous! not at all.
come ooonnnn.. let me haaang ooouttt wiiith yoou.

expect more posts from brianna (note: never before have i referred to myself in third person).
note 2: im regretting the amateur mistake of posting with my actual birth name instead of something anonymously creative. i guess theres no turning back now…. i am one with you….

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 12:54 am
No. 21 ilnazhad says:

brianna, start again with a new username. At least you didn’t use both your first and last name like I did. And brianna is a common name, unlike motherfucking Ilnaz Nazhad. But since you’ve just started recently posting, you won’t lose much of your Mollygood, uh, identity. You know…

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 1:08 am
No. 22 queencrone says:

Yes, we love the beer. I am actually running the tab for the table. Cheers YerMom! Get a shot too doll!!

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 1:19 am
No. 23 stopthemadness says:

congrats to the commie winners.

lisa you slay me.

elle, are you over the kardashians already? i weep for society.

brianna, i lurked on here for months before mustering up the courage to actually post something. but i just kept posting nonsense until the “regulars” could no longer ignore me. i almost balked when they demanded i wear a vial of cord’s blood around my neck, but it’s totally worth it.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 2:35 am
No. 24 stopthemadness says:

ilnaz nazhad is a brilliant name. i enjoy and salute your drunkassbitch shit. you don’t need qc to be the harvey keitel to your john travolta.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 2:40 am
No. 25 April says:

ouch.

cold. my recipe was to show that pro-anas, (specifically chelsea) are dumb, but whatever.

my first commie… i feel.. unsatisfied.

p.s. bedbugs: love ya - ill be around a bit more, im outta school (well in finals but in a couple days) miss you guys.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 5:08 am
No. 26 Alycia says:

Dang, even the spammers are bagging on Whitney. LOL.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 5:11 am
No. 27 stoner conspiracy says:

Do the spammers outsource? Frankin’s comment made no sense. Also as a long time lurker and first time poster I am thrilled to get a commie, but I couldn’t have done it without qc’s setup.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 7:55 am
No. 28 lale says:

April, I tried your recipe and it left a strange aftertaste of despair and hunger. Weird.

I appreciate the time you took to provide this. Perhaps you should enter it in the Pillsbury Shame-Off next year.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 9:36 am
No. 29 jujubees says:

Brianna can join the group, ONLY, if you include beer or some other form of liquor in your daily food groups. I think since beer is made with hopps that would make it some kind of grain?

I also like the usage of, “Negatron”, I’m totally interjecting that into every conversation that I can.

I like the recipe myself. I followed it and now I can fit into my jeans from when I was 12. Yay for not eating. The only problem is I’m so grumpy I killed a man. If anybody asks I was here at 5 pm central time.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 9:47 am
No. 30 Your Mama says:

Teh Commies are starting to suck.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 9:53 am
No. 31 jujubees says:

I think someone was still angry about the Davin Gegraw debaucle. I’m speaking in pig latin to throw Whitney off.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 9:55 am
No. 32 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

Lodim ™ and etalocohc ekac stohs and xes, juju. That works every time. But you have to bust your diet for it.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 10:08 am
No. 33 Lisa (#1) says:

Can we stop talking about how much the Commies suck? I am up there people, and starting to get insecure. I may develop an eating disorder or something. Helloooooooooo fortuitously placed recipe.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 11:34 am
No. 34 Lisa (#1) says:

Anyhow, it made more sense if you click on the link and LOOK IT UP!!!

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 11:35 am
No. 35 queencrone says:

They are all just sore losers. Commies were well done.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 11:51 am
No. 36 chelsea says:

it yet it show how stupid you are April. GO FIGURE

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 12:36 pm
No. 37 chelsea says:

Congats for the win April. Dumbest recipe of ALL time, well deserved.It could not of been given to a more deserving person.Said with a dash of anger

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 1:16 pm
No. 38 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

I’n not going to debate a moot point as to who is stupid around here.
A close (former, as in RIP) friend of mine “fell into” the whole ProAna thing when she became involved with an emotionally and verbally abusive boyfriend in college. She would “forget to eat” and dropped below 80lbs. She was hospitalised several time, but still claimed there was “no problem and she knew what she was doing.” The hospital stays were always “some other problem.” Her mood swings were terrible and it was always everybody else who was “stupid and did not know what they were talking about.” She would not listen to anybody. Now she is dead. But she had it all “under control” too. Heard that language before, chelsea?
There’s nothing myself or anyone else could do to stop her. We all tried. So, yes, this subject hits a great big sore spot with me.
Seriously, chelsea, seek help.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 1:22 pm
No. 39 jujubees says:

Anger only adds extra calories.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 1:25 pm
No. 40 chelsea says:

damm your right juju

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 1:28 pm
No. 41 chelsea says:

It’s like drinkers not all drinkers need help most drinkers can go their whole life without a problem. proanas are the same . Some take it to far, most don’t.also most people(not all) that think proana is a disorder seem to me to take joy in jumping all over them telling them how sick they are.BELIVE ME THAT’S NOT THE WAY .

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 1:36 pm
No. 42 April says:

ok ok ok…

drinkers are not alcoholics…
there are people who drink, there are alcoholics, and there are alcoholics who control thier drinking, like Lindsay Lohan. THEY DONT

P.S., i think you mean said with a dash of irony… or thats what you should have said. Becuase quoting the recipe I stole OFF A PROANA website to tell me its dumb is less effective.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 2:55 pm
No. 43 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

You’re right, chelsea. No, my friend, and others I have known, did not say the same exact things you say and no, I do not see a pattern here. It’s comforting to know she was simply one of the few who “took it too far.”
Although, I do beg to differ in your choice of the noun, joy. Solicitude would be more appropriate.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 2:57 pm
No. 44 jujubees says:

I don’t know what’s going on here but are you guys trying to tell me I drink too much and I’m fat? Fine, I’m going to go drink and not eat, bitches, all of you.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 3:05 pm
No. 45 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

Please don’t stop eating bitches, juju. I’ll be good! I promise!

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 3:09 pm
No. 46 chelsea says:

drinkers as in life style. ALL PROANAS THINK THE SAME EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. AND AGREE WITH EVERY LINE ON EVERY PROANA SITE WE ARE IN TOTAL AGREEMENT ALL THE TIME.(sarcasm)

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 3:23 pm
No. 47 chelsea says:

not here, in general

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 3:26 pm
No. 48 chelsea says:

On a lighter note Obama looks like he might be in line to be the 1st proana president

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 3:31 pm
No. 49 chelsea says:

proana joke inner beauty is what counts.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 3:32 pm
No. 50 Lisa (#1) says:

Question to Chelsea: I’m lazy, so forgive me if the info is easy to find. Anyhow, “proana” to me means, pro-anorexic. Anorexia being a disease where ppl think they’re fat, have control issues, OCD etc. But when you describe it, it seems more like you are talking about calorie restriction, as a lifestyle, like CRON. Is that right?

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 3:50 pm
No. 51 chelsea says:

right lisa

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 3:54 pm
No. 52 chelsea says:

Control is a major part of all proana life styles.
A misconseption of people is that most proanas are teens. Most cases that come to the attention of the so called theapy centers are teens because parents Take them there. Proanas in general are successful in what they set their minds to because of the control issure.
if anyone tells you are anal about the things you do . Your a likly recruit to a ana lifestyle.
Eat to live, not live to eat is a good rule

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 4:10 pm
No. 53 Lisa (#1) says:

I think maybe people have issues with the name “Proana” because, as I said, it sounds like pro-anorexic. Which is, from what I have read, quite different than proponents of calorie restriction lifestyles - those people are all about being healthy and have super clean diets and totally different motivations. Do you find there is a lot of confusion between the two? From both insiders and other adherents to “proana”? I mean, because proana seems different somehow?

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 4:32 pm
No. 54 chelsea says:

Proana name was suppose to being a attention getter that backfired. Now it’s to late to change it, to well know. Some sites do give a forum for real anorexics to vent with out judgment that’s where that ricipe came from. people telling them that they are sick they need help just eat something, they have no idea that what they are doing is having the opposited effect .you have to teach them the right way to be what they want to be a little at a time.(in control) . when a consulter is overweight this is useless a true nightmare, they should be thin or normal.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 5:09 pm
No. 55 chelsea says:

Buzz words for me. Amy Winehouse, Proana.
Mention either and off I go (control problem)

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 5:12 pm
No. 56 Lisa (#1) says:

Ha, yeah you do! I knew this girl who was anorexic and depressed (in middle school, so a while ago) they put her on some anti-depressant that made her gain weight (or eat more or something). Anyhow, she ended up bulimic. So, you’re right. You can’t just say, “get better” you need to address the underlying problem.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 8:01 pm
No. 57 YerMom says:

I am all about the “more drinking” and “less eating” mentality. I get most of my calories from beer. True story. But I can’t resist a delicious meal, I am still a stoner at heart.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 8:27 pm
No. 58 stopthemadness says:

i just spent over a hundred dollars on groceries. i just looked in the fridge. it’s mostly bacon and cheese.

PSA: don’t smoke and shop.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 8:34 pm
No. 59 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

Damn… I didn’t think the ProAna infomercial would ever end!
My husband made chicken piccata over angel hair pasta tonight, with a side of asparagus cooked in marsala and lemon. Served with a fine chardonnay. Excellent!

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 11:05 pm
No. 60 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

Bacon and cheese! Throw in a few or ten eggs, some whole grain pie shells, 2 or 5 bottles of champagne, a splash of orange juice, and that is the best Sunday brunch.

Posted: Apr 22, 2008 at 11:11 pm
No. 61 chelsea says:

bedbug you are going to die young. (get help)

Posted: Apr 23, 2008 at 9:57 am
No. 62 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

Chelsea, want to join me for my morning 12 mile run?

Posted: Apr 23, 2008 at 10:43 am
No. 63 bedbugsandballyhoo says:

And, oh, I keep forgetting that chelsea doesn’t know how I earn my shoe money. It really is in my best interest to be in top physical shape. And no, I’m not a call girl or a stripper.

Posted: Apr 23, 2008 at 10:56 am
No. 64 chelsea says:

just a joke lighten up

Posted: Apr 23, 2008 at 11:12 am
No. 65 chelsea says:

who though you were a call girl or stripper

Posted: Apr 23, 2008 at 11:13 am
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