The missives contained in Mollygood’s comments sections run the gamut from funny to enlightening to choleric to unreadable, but rarely are they boring and even rarer (thankfully) are they peppered with “OMG she is hottttttttt!” or “z”s in the place of “s”s. Since the swift death of Mollygood, Bad and Poetic, the best of these bon mots have gone relatively unnoticed. The Commies will change all that. Each week, the very best will be highlighted here for greater public consumption and, of course, judgment.
The same question all Americans ask themselves every week: stopthemadness
well how the hell are we supposed to know what the ‘fabulous prizes’ are if Chatty McWon’tShuttheHellUpUnlessIStabHer doesn’t stop talking!?
Best new threat: jujubees
I’m not falling for that line again. PS, it’s just empty calories and does not contain protein. Fool me once blah, blah, blah, fool me twice and I punch you in your pinkberries.
Most successful new T-shirt design: deimos
it wasn’t me. if i had made perez a bedazzled shirt it would have read: i wish my dick was as big as my ego.
Best Paula Abdul-style rant: Fluffy T
If I am me on Thursday can I still wear the yellow shirt? Or do I have to be you being us? Are you you in the zone of hot lava? You are me and you are us in the bright sunshiny wonder. Are you singing to me because my boobs look big? Or is it the wang bone talking? Come on — you know you want me like you do your sister. We could be us together, you and I and her.
Most obvious statement about the state of American politics: janice
Well, shit. Looks like you guys are still screwed.
Best attempt at being as Cord-obsessed (and borderline-creepy) as ilnazhad: Lisa (#1)
Well, his thin physique goes well with his boat shoes, and ankle socks, as he bounds up the subway steps two at a time.
Most accurate look into the future: SnackySmores
Larry is going to die in that chair. And when he does, CNN is just going to prop him up and let the show keep going.
Editor
Congrats, hags!
congrats everybody! if anybody steals my shirt idea i’ll kill them in the face.
I’m pretty sure I’m more than borderline creepy.
i’d say you’re a hot stalker mess il.
BEST COMMIES EVER!!! Good job hags!!
My keyboard just got another Dr. Pepper bath.
Woo Woo Woo! Good job, hags! deimos, that comment is AWE-SOME!
I’d say I do a pretty good ilnazhad borderline creepy impression myself.
Lisa #1: I totally missed that comment but I’m kind of glad I did. This time I was drinking water, so snorting it our my nose wasn’t all that bad. I was drinking hot coffee on Friday morning.
deimos: That t-shirt needs to be made.
juju: Thank you for thinking Pinkberry sounds like a euphemism, too.
STM, janice and snacky, awesome. congrats to you guys, too! it was a truly hag filled commies.
Fluffy, I don’t know what that meant and I’m gonna assume it takes either copious amounts of drugs or a complete lack of them to understand it. Congrats to you too, even if I sprained my brain trying to comprehend your comment.
Also, a special congrats to ilnazhad. She may not have won an award, but how many of us can say an award has been named after us?
AWESOME COMMIES.
Wait, Cord, is that a tacit admission that I was right? Were you going to get something waxed at Magnolia?
We saw you, Cord. And you didn’t profess your love for me. I forgive you, though. Lisa was being a tail.
my hag cup runneth over. i don’t know which is better: today’s commies or seeing that flying pig last night at the roger waters show at coachella.
Oh, what a day, what a day! It may be raining, but it’s sunny in my heart.
Congrats everyone!
PS-juju, does it really not contain protein? Do I need to punch some pinkberries around here?
So proud of my hags… way to rock the commies!
Thanks for the Commie! Lily I must admit that I had just started a new Rx that day and what I was really thinking in response to the reality bites was, “Gosh, these people are so vapid and stupid.” It didn’t exactly come out that way. I’m taking Lyrica and it’s like taking exstacy and GHB at the same time. And I’m on the lowest dose! :)
yay, those were frickin’ awesome. :)
Get me some Lyrica up in here.
those were pretty commilicious, hags! Way to rock it out juju, diemos, gotta say those were my favs
“we could be us together, you and i and her.”
that’s pure genius.