The missives contained in Mollygood’s comments sections run the gamut from funny to enlightening to choleric to unreadable, but rarely are they boring and even rarer (thankfully) are they peppered with “OMG she is hottttttttt!” or “z”s in the place of “s”s. Since the swift death of Mollygood, Bad and Poetic, the best of these bon mots have gone relatively unnoticed. The Commies will change all that. Each week, the very best will be highlighted here for greater public consumption and, of course, judgment.

Most qualified to become a publicist: Kitchy

I like the 'They’re both thrilled' comment.

Because just once I’d like to see something like 'After dating for more than a year, Scarlett Johansson is set to marry her boyfriend Ryan Reynolds, PEOPLE has learned exclusively. "Scarlett’s thrilled, but Ryan’s kidn of pissed. I guess he figured this was his last chance at having a child before he’s 35, so he’s settling," Johansson’s rep Marcel Pariseau tells PEOPLE.'

Best description of Kanye West: Stoney

He’s a self-absorbed turd corn. If I ever got close enough to bow to that mother fucker, I’d kick him balls instead.

Our newest potential E! intern: S a v v y Me

I love the the Girls Next Door. They look adorable here. Holly’s my fav!

Best example of why we hate David "I should be in High School Musical 3" Archuleta and his preteen fans: David Archuleta LOVER

ok retards u people r STUPID ok first off u don’t start ur thing DAVID ARCHULETA’S SOB STORY
WE’RE STILL NOT VOTING FOR U!
WTF is that about wow u guys really r gonna get david archuleta fans to look @ all of the stuff u post,and he is gonna be crowned winner, u like it or not u kno that the bottom 2 r gonna be David Archuleta and David Cook, srry face the fricken facts Jason Castro I do like him but God people get a brain!!!!!! btw DO NOT EMAIL ME BACK BECAUSE I DIDN’T EVEN PUT MY REAL EMAIL ADDRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gee, you sure got us. We'll never make fun of Paula Abdul again: economics

She is ONE a workaholic, that’s not the worst thing to be..Two, had a few sergery’s on her neck from injury’s being a dancer and chorigrapher. She’s on cortizone shots, they usually make you bloated, so she likely tries not to eat much to AVOID that bitch biting fest from other women. She’s on pain pills and muscle relaxers for injury’s you can’t see, like cancer- so it must not be real. Keep up the picking on her. That’s what famous people are for, so you can feel better.

Most surprised come Monday: Jim Liu

If Iron Man does $50 million for the weekend I’d be surprised.

Best attempt at hiding the fact that you're really Spencer Pratt: VaNCiTy

I actually don’t think she’s THAT bad. She is only 21 years old, and I don’t think it’s fair to completely trash her on the internet. There are worse people out there, Paris Hilton for example.