The missives contained in Mollygood’s comments sections run the gamut from funny to enlightening to choleric to unreadable, but rarely are they boring and even rarer (thankfully) are they peppered with “OMG she is hottttttttt!” or “z”s in the place of “s”s. Since the swift death of Mollygood, Bad and Poetic, the best of these bon mots have gone relatively unnoticed. The Commies will change all that. Each week, the very best will be highlighted here for greater public consumption and, of course, judgment.

Worst Memories: mae

When I think of Mother’s Day, I think about binge drinking until I black out and waking up in a pool of my own piss and vomit.

The “We Hope You’re Joking” Award: Ledge Musselman

I love him!!! He/she is sooooo sexy!! I want to suck his little nipples til they bleed.

Most Depressing Response to Something Intended to Be Hopeful: tt_marie

People can preach all day long about how beauty really means being comfortable with yourself and being natural, but the world simply disagrees. Maybe the world is mistaken, but you have to deal with reality.

Most Poorly Expressed Good Point: sylviam

Sylvia M says:
I believe Lindsey Lohan should be prosecuted!
After all, this is technically GRAND THEFT.
Winona Ryder had to deal with the Law, so no exceptions here with Lohan.
If we have to prosecute a poor sucker who steals a loaf of bread or a Gallon of Milk,
because he is hungry.
I’m sure we MUST apply the same laws to people who steal luxury items.
Or am I mistaken here?
Does the Law NOT apply to people who could afford to pay for what they steal?
It seems Laws were made to PROTECT the GUILTY.
If she (Lohan) gets away with this theft…
This will send a truly disgusting message to the youth of America and the world.
I would hope the New York DA will show some backbone and apply the fullest extend of the Law in this Case.
As far as the rightful Owner of the Coat goes, my message is this:
Sue for whatever amount and donate to a charity, if you don’t want the money.
Please don’t let yourself be “bamboozled” by this train wreck of a Starlet.
And PLEASE don’t feel bad for suing. You have every right to do so.
…and so it goes

Sylvia M. Encino, California

Most Likely to Find Work in Connecticut: Run-DMS

Elitism with a hint of racism - now there’s a marketing strategy!

Most Unwanted Defendant: kate

I also like to tug on my labia to make sure it properly hangs out of my teeny shorts before a hearing.

Best Response to Coolspotters.com: janice

I would be appalled, but I don’t know how Christina Aguilera feels yet, so I’ll have to get back to you.