The missives contained in Mollygood’s comments sections run the gamut from funny to enlightening to choleric to unreadable, but rarely are they boring and even rarer (thankfully) are they peppered with “OMG she is hottttttttt!” or “z”s in the place of “s”s. Since the swift death of Mollygood, Bad and Poetic, the best of these bon mots have gone relatively unnoticed. The Commies will change all that. Each week, the very best will be highlighted here for greater public consumption and, of course, judgment.

Another solid argument against homosexuality: hector lopez

I think lindsay lohan dum for falling for a girl. That bad for her’ I hate gay people. GOD made guys to like girls and made girls to like guys not girlI hope lindsay dumps that bitchand goes with a guy not a girl That bicth made her gay she was not . She just has not meet the right guy . Why can she be like anne hathaway. I not a lindsday lohan no more .IM a anne hathaway fan .I hope i get to meet anne hathaway not lindsay lohan or that bitch

Most embarrassing Jason Castro fan ever: LithiumGirl21

I SAY FUCK OBAMA LET PUT CASTRO IN OFFICE!!

JASON CASTRO FOR PRESIDENT!!!

WOO HOO!! NOW WHAT!!

VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!

Most angelic: queencrone

Dearest God,

Did you tell Beyonce that You understood if she didn’t go to church?

Because I want You to know that it isn’t easy for me to get to church either. We only have the one bathroom, and it takes us all so long to get ready. We just about kill each other, just getting ready. As You know, there are 7 of us here at this house.

So if it is ok, maybe we can just stay home like Beyonce.

(I’ll send in my tithes per usual. I don’t know what Beyonce is doing about hers.)

Most sincerely, with all due respect,
qc

Wait, it doesn't?: kittenpaw

RKelly used to stay at a hotel in Chicago that my husband worked at. I guess RKelly was notorious for being a complete dumbass. He thought mañana meant “money” and he didn’t believe it when people, even spanish speaking people, told him it didn’t.

Most likely to creep out even Amy Sedaris: Jenny, Bloggess

She’s not that great when you meet her in person and give her a love note with pictures you drew of her and your cat and you give her your phone number and then she totally doesn’t call.

At least, she hasn’t called yet.

There’s still time.

PS. I own a cake made by Amy Sedaris. It’s been in my cupboard for 10 months. True story.

Biggest (and funniest) brain: stopthemadness

her forehead is ginormous. i also have a ginormous forehead. i used to get picked on and my mom would comfort me and say “your head is so big because you have a big brain.”

i wonder what poor britney’s mom says to her. i think if she told brit that she had mad brains, even brit would laugh at her mom and say “bitch, please.”

Most accurate depiction of Lou Pearlman's future: Keeblerkahn

I hear he is already putting together a new prison group, The Backdoor Boys. The bad boy of the group is serving 7 life sentences.

In other news, Lou has already kissed his butt virginity bye bye bye. Hey, someone had to make a prison rape joke.