The missives contained in Mollygood’s comments sections run the gamut from funny to enlightening to choleric to unreadable, but rarely are they boring and even rarer (thankfully) are they peppered with “OMG she is hottttttttt!” or “z”s in the place of “s”s. Since the swift death of Mollygood, Bad and Poetic, the best of these bon mots have gone relatively unnoticed. The Commies will change all that. Each week, the very best will be highlighted here for greater public consumption and, of course, judgment.
Most impressive pet owner: Kitchy
I have puppies and guns. In fact, I train the puppies to use the guns.
Best. Story. Ever: Keeblerkahn
“Sugar mingle. c o m and he is mentioned to find his sugar girl there!”
I dated a sugar girl once. It was going great, we were talking about getting married. Sure I got type two diabetes from her but that is the price you pay for love. Fate it seems was not on our side. We got caught in a sudden thunder storm and she melted. It was tragic. Before she died she made me promise to find love again but it’s hard to go on once you have seen your soul mate reduced to consistency of a spilled slushy.
Most in need of getting back on his/her meds: American Patriot
From the photo it looks like Usher is racist. There are only black men in that photo. Even White country musicians have black musicians in the band. Even the Rat Pack had Sammie.
So, who’s the real racists in this world. Obviously it’s blacks like Usher. The photo says it all, he’s not an equal opportunity employer. He’s hired a black cabal. No Whites allowed in his band, apparently.
Racists are ignorant and stupid. Usher looks like a racist in this photo, a racist who appear to be inciting violence through imagery.
Most knowledgeable of both Danity Kane and Jesus: Susie
People do you know your bible? This could be the mark of the beast. Wake up.
In the running for saddest childhood memory: rumour has it
I got lost when I was 5 at an amusement park and my parents never knew. They thought I was with my brothers and my brothers thought I was with my parents. To this day, they still don’t acknowledge that they ever lost me.
Most disturbing description of Hugh Hefner's sperm: blah
Oh come on! We all know that this man would ejaculate dust.
Don't give the spammers any ideas: silent noodles
I would be more interested in unicorn romance at mysexyunicorn.com
Editor
Dude, my puppies are going to kick your ass.
Ninja puppies?!
Good Commies!! Condrats winners! :-)
Blam! That was awesome. I laughed a laugh I have never laughed before. Scared myself too.
Thanks, Whitney. And kudos you clever, clever plebs.
Wow! A commie. Thanks!
But to make that childhood memory even sadder and possibly the winner of the saddest, I was standing there crying in a crowd of people not knowing what to do, when only one person walking past me, a man, asked if I was lost and when I replied "Yes" between sobs he just laughed at me and walked away. What a dick! He had a mullet, so I should have known, except I was five and lost!
Since nobody was going to help me, I had to help myself and I went looking for my family. Eventually I found my two brothers looking at a display of knives because that's what boys like to do. Lose their sister and look at knives.
I would like to accept this commie in the name of world peas. All I am saying is, give peas a chance.
keebler, that's two weeks in a row for you, innit? nicely done. (i think you meant "whirled" peas, though.)
blah-blam!, i knew you were going to get a commie for that. so basically, i own 50% of your commie. i'll sell it to you for eleventy billion dollars.
congrats all.
Keeblerkahn, too bad you didn't have a small pot with you when she melted. You could have turned your sugar into a nice simple syrup, with a little heat.
She would have been nice and tasty over some fresh homegrown blueberries.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda.
Ok. so if we are gonna play that way (stm) then I own half of KK's commie. Uh uh. Thats right. I called it. Look it up!
Great commies! More wit and less deranged psychos!
abby = FAIL
cooter, i'll sell you half of my half of blam!s commie for 2/3 of your half of keebler's commie.
what do you mean, that's s not fair? it so is. check my math.
you're drinking again, if you think it's not fair.
rumour has it- I'm pretty sure every kid on the planet has lost their family in a crowd at least three times. Once I got lost in Iran at a night markert. Locals asked me where I live and I kept saying "Canada." There were cops everywhere, but I was totally chilled because I was being fed lavoshack (a sour, Iranian fruit snack) by a boy with a potbelly. It's sad because everyone thinks Iran is savage, but in many ways it is a secure area. There were about 7 cops trying to help me!
Of course, then they threw a grenade at me.
oh ilz. hilarity.
nacy, i said it once, and i'll say it again: raise your hand. slap yourself with it.
Apparently nacy is an handsome black/white man? Who new? Keeblerkhan's sugar girl story was the best.
All this talk of money makes me uncomfortable. I will gladly give my half, or eighth of this commie to the first person who gives me a goat that can walk a tightrope.
I sure do miss Candy, but I'm reminded of her everyday when I take my medicine.
keebler, you're one of my top ten favorite people today.