The missives contained in Mollygood’s comments sections run the gamut from funny to enlightening to choleric to unreadable, but rarely are they boring and even rarer (thankfully) are they peppered with “OMG she is hottttttttt!” or “z”s in the place of “s”s. Since the swift death of Mollygood, Bad and Poetic, the best of these bon mots have gone relatively unnoticed. The Commies will change all that. Each week, the very best will be highlighted here for greater public consumption and, of course, judgment.

Most creative: Keeblerkahn

“Would you like to meet Perez Hilton?”

Appropriate responses:
No thank you, I just had a prune danish.

I’m sorry, I’m running late. I’m getting testicles run over by Robbie Knievel in 10 minutes.

Why, did I do something wrong?

Are you threatening me? (sprays person with bear mace and runs away)

Can’t I just give back the Care Bear shirt and spiked wristband I stold and promise never to come back to the store?

We're adding that to the list of potential future baby names: Luz

If I ever have a child, I’m naming him Mister Rainbow Suspenders, after my late goldfish.

Most knowledgeable of The Rules: Lisa (#1)

The rulebook clearly says, “the opponent who first tells the other opponent to shut his or her face, wins, unless immediately countered with a So’s Your Mom or similar retort. However, it is held to be a zero sum game until another barb is thrown. A That’s Not What Your Mom Said Last Night will result in an immediate disqualification.” Look it up.

Best response to the Paris Hilton pregnancy rumors: Mrs. Feisty

If this is true, then I’m going straight home and making saddles. When those four horsemen show up, I want to be bearing gifts.

Now that, we'd be interested in: bingo

Funny you say that, I just went on “M y I n t e r r a c i a l M a t c h . c o M” and it’s just what I suspected - photo after photo of recycled lolcats.

Most logical explanation as to why Kevin Federline was named Father of the Year: queencrone

I think what ultimately pulled Kevin ahead of the group was he took his kids to Disneyland and only one of them got lost

Best idea for a new reality show that we would actually watch: buzzKut

Lock the Hogans in with the Lohans and Spears in San Quentin State Prison then let loose rabid raccoons, turn out the lights and release Al Gore with a swiss army knife, LED jewelry, three bags of cheetos, one can of baked beans, a zippo lighter, three cuban cigars and flavored protein power drinks.. Who will survive, break out to be named Pokey Pit Boss?