The missives contained in Mollygood’s comments sections run the gamut from funny to enlightening to choleric to unreadable, but rarely are they boring and even rarer (thankfully) are they peppered with “OMG she is hottttttttt!” or “z”s in the place of “s”s. Since the swift death of Mollygood, Bad and Poetic, the best of these bon mots have gone relatively unnoticed. The Commies will change all that. Each week, the very best will be highlighted here for greater public consumption and, of course, judgment.
Most astute observation about Lindsay Lohan's newest venture: kittenpaw
I’m surprised there aren’t crotchless leggings in her line.
Most interesting restraining order: Keeblerkahn
I would send them my hair but due to an unrelated court order I am no longer allowed to mail body part ‘gifts’ to women.
Just doesn't get it: termite
That’s it. I’m disgusted by your use of that anti-semitic slur. It’s offensive and horrible and I never thought I’d see that in a mollygood piece. You need to apologize for your hateful remark and remove them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Most likely to be employed by Perez Hilton: Hataaaz
Actually…. I was there at hot topic with a friend who wanted to go, and there was a really good sized crowd (I’d say at least 60 people when we were there). Perez was really laid-back, funny…. clearly that person was lying about how he was being a bitch.. I didn’t seem him on his phone once. (We were only there about half an hour)…. people seemed excited to chat with him and he seemed genuinely cool. This is clearly overreaction from a bunch of people who hate him… on a side note, I was chatting with a few people in front of us in line, and between them, they easily bought at least $100 in merch… t-shirts were $20 or so, and they were selling. So clearly that said “employee” is just bs.
Just stating what it was like. Hate if u wish, but keeping the facts straight helps.
Most poetic: Lale!
Well cute boobs aren’t handed out to everyone.
Best movie theater patron: stopthemadness
i like to smuggle beer into movie theaters. unfortunately, because i have a bladder the size of a peanut ("ye olde tiny tanks," they call me) i also like to pee on the floor of movie theaters.
Most matronly: Keeblerkahn
I’d watch a bunch of 6 year olds trying to put out a grease fire. That might make me a bad person.
Editor
Keeblerkahn got two in one shot! Unfair!!
Don't be a hater Kitchy. I didn't seem keeplerkahn on his phone once. He's keeping it reals. Please buy some of my merch. But, I'm kind of scared exactly what he's sending to the ladies?
STM, once again you've killed me in the face with laughter. But anybody who smuggles beer into movies is someone I want to go with. I'll just make sure we keep a seat between us and have some handy wipes. I'm a little touchy about getting my feet pee'd on.
Smirnoff Ice is the only way I got through that Vin Diesel movie "XXX" in the theatre. Total tripe, that movie.
Does this list seem rushed to anyone else?
I don't hate Keeb, I'm just yelling for the sake of yelling.
The list does seem rushed.
I prefer to bring a flask and have a little rum and diet coke. That way at least I'm less suspicious. Well, that's how we did it for Sex And The City. DON'T JUDGE ME! I prefer to be knocked out for Vin Diesels movies.
There were a couple of goods ones but overall just kind of, meh.
I think you need more caps Kitchy. I just really wanted to use the phrases, "I seem him" and "merch". They're kind of catchy.
Although i have been reading this sight for awhile i never started reading these until last week. And now i must admit this is my favorite part of the week. That last one made me laugh at loud.
is keebler a man or a woman?
keebler, reveal thyself.
Well my boobs rise. They rise! …at this honor.
Plant. They are both plants.
Lale is right.
If cute boobs were handed out to everyone, there would not be enough mardi-gras beads to go around.
Condrats to all!! :-)
QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEE!!
great googly moogly, where have you been?
For those of you wondering why I haven't won a commie… I did not feel that I was given the posts this week to warrant a commie and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the Cock Ferret Commie Organization, I withdrew my name from contention.
ilnazhad–that was awesome.
il…*sigh* genius. :) i heart you…most days at least.
Il- I think you might just win a commie for your lack of commie material.
Iln, I always love it when you throw down the cock ferret. pussie
cock ferret is one of the best phrases ever.
I humbly accept my 2 commies (wow) and would like to dedicate them to Elvis and Tupac. I know your out their somewhere, probably sharing a condo together and keeping it on the DL. I know you have to stay in hiding because of Suge and Persilla, but you should know my friends,you are missed, you are missed. *thumps fist on chest twice* Respect.
For the record, I am in fact a man. I've just been outed at the Commies, I felt so violated. Wait, men are the ones with the penises right? Ever since I picked up a lady-boy in Honolulu I've been confused.
Curse you ilnazhad, I thought the Commies were coming out tomorrow, I was going to say that. Well played, you are a most worthy opponent, my friend. I nominate ilnazhad for a Commie next week.
Oh, and cock ferret is an awesome phrase.
Keeblerkan, interesting that you think Elvis is still alive. Did you know that if you rearrange the letters of his name it spells "cock ferret"?
Your comments are tiptop. And I am flattered that you thought of the same joke as me. And I hope you win again next week and I don't because I don't want the commies to be shitty.
You know what's annoying? When people tell you they are "humbly" accepting something. You're not being humble if you are stating you are being humble. But you can pull it off.
I had not noticed that about Elvis name before, but now that you point it out is so obvious. Did you know ilnazhad that Elvis and Tupac had the Lincoln and Kennedy thing going on to? Yep, Tupac drive a Lincoln and Elvis gave Jackie Kennedy the old Toledo turnpike in the Lincoln bedroom of all places back in 1962. Creepy right?
I think the reason I can pull off the 'humbly' is because I'm 1/16 used car sales men on my nephew's side. So I really can't take to much credit, it's genetic.
Hi STM!! I went to Disneyland, and I only got lost ONCE. :-)
Unfortunately for cell phones, my family found me.