These are all pretty fantastic. Good job whittle.

And I agree with you on most those things Killorn except for I just pooped/peed. I'm all about using bodily functions to express feelings.

:)

Dude, nice play on matt/lisa 105.

Also, I am glad that I am a total dick.

Cmmies! AND I got one! It's two-two-TWO times the fabulous!

Thank you and great job, you brilliant typers. esp killorn, keebs, canada, matt sort of, Chelsea some, and lisa 105 hot oil.

how about "I just listened to Creed"?

Same diff.

Congratulations, all. Special notice to sar, as I had missed that one the first time through.

The Bibles indeed…the Bibles indeed.

lisa 105 hot oil! ha!!

well done, hags!

also, love the sally field reference, keebler!

Congratulations, all!!!

And special kudos to Lisa. You bitch, you!!!

Umm, Matt … Don't bother coming to the podium to accept your Commmie. We'll gladly throw it at ya. With soft tomatoes.

Hagz rule, bitchez!

What defines "hag" exactly? Give it to me straight, peeps.

First rule of hag club, do not talk about hag club. Next rule, you have to weep bitter tears over Jared Leto.

Matt is a Grade A douche-bag

Oh, except for the fact he was a troll.

Some of you are so damn funny. Can I give an extra shout-out to sar? Her comment about the photo of a young Sarah Palin was soooooo stupendous.

I have employed "I am agreeing with you, this is me agreeing" in my daily vernacular to a minimum of weird stares.

I'd like to extend my congratulations to Matt, it was well deserved.

2 weeks in a row biaaaatches.

Congrats, Matt. Well played.

Yay! Also, do I get credit if Palin uses that line of attack in a speech?

I humbly accept my Commie and would like to dedicate it to Mrs. Goldblatts. Old lady Blatts as she was known to the neighborhood kids hated children and could often be heard screaming at anyone under four feet tall to 'get off her lawn' even when we were playing in our own lawns. On several occasions old lady Baltts called the cops on Jack Davenport because 'kids ain't a supposed to drive cars'. Mr. Davenport was actually a 37-year-old midget who worked at the hospital and unfortunately when bundled up in a winter coat looked like a fat third grader.

It was in the winter of 1983 when we the children of Henry Street turned the tables on old lady Blatts. One of the kids from her church learned that she was deathly afraid of snowmen, or the devils minions as she called them.

I'm not proud of what we did to Mrs. Goldblatts that winter, but as God is my witness she had it coming. It started off innocent enough with one snowman facing her front window. We put it up when she was watching her stories and too busy to yell at anyone. When she came out to get her mail she let out a scream and slammed the door. The next day when we got back from school the head of the snowman had been knocked off. Mr. Davenport told us that she had charged the snowman with a broom and decapitated it all the while screaming the Lords prayer.

From there we stepped up snowman production. After a few kids got caught putting them in her yard we had to start pulling night missions. One night I found her car unlocked so I put a snowman in the backseat holding a tire iron, after that old lady Blatts never drove her car again. By mid-December she would wake to two or three snowmen peering in her windows every morning.

Our most daring plan would require help and Mr. Davenport was all to eager to get in on the action. One night with the use of his ladder we placed three snowmen on the roof of her porch. It took some work to get them to stand up because the roof was on an angle. They were peering over the edge and from the ground they look like they were about to spring down. Then we went around the house and removed all the other snowmen. The next day when she saw the devils minions had left she came out onto the porch and slammed the door as she went for her mail.

I watch what happened next from the warmth of my bedroom with a few friends. Some of us watched in silence, others clapped their hands and giggled maniacally, I’m not comfortable saying which group I fell in to. You see when she slammed the door the snowmen started sliding toward the edge of the roof. Old lady Blatts had just reached her mailbox when the snowmen started to tip over the edge, she had just enough time to look up and see them coming before she was pinned under them. After a few minutes she freed herself and rushed inside. Twenty minutes later a taxi arrived and she rushed out of her house with her cat under one arm and a suitcase in the other.

I found out later that she went to her church and demanded sanctuary. She refused to go back to her house and later that week left to go live with her son in New Mexico. Her house stayed empty until spring when all the snow was gone. She came back to pack up her belongings, and put the house up for sale before returning to New Mexico and swearing to never step foot in a state with snow again.

This Commie is for you Mrs. Goldblatts, sorry we made you think the devil was coming to steal your soul.

Sorry for the long dedication this week, I just felt it was time to get it off my chest.

Good job all!

P.S. except for the trolls/haters. No good job for you.

OH KEEBS! Looooook out your window!

Theres nothing there but there was gonna be a bunch of candy spelling out WILL YOU MARRY ME?

But Candy Spelling got word of it and now I'm in a very complex and tiresome legal battle. I would still like your lifelong commitment but I think I may be in jail.

Sar I shall wait for you if you go to the pokey. I used to be a somewhat talented baker, if need be I will bake you an erotic cake with a file in it. How do you feel about an Al Roker cake with Hershey kiss nipples?
http://www.videogum.com/img/th....._roker.jpg

Is there a commie hall of fame?

You Keebler, you are summin else!!

ohhh keebler, my keeblebeeb. you are a master of romance, foodstuffs and workarounds.

If there were ever a time for a Commie to get a Commie, a meta-commie, a commie-squared, if you will, it would be now. Now is the time to give one Keebler Q. Kahn a commie for his acceptance speech. It was a heart-felt tearjerker. Bravo. ::Slow clap::

::stands on desk for keebs::