The missives contained in Mollygood's comments sections run the gamut from funny to enlightening to choleric to unreadable, but rarely are they boring and even rarer (thankfully) are they peppered with "OMG she is hottttttttt!" or "z"s in the place of "s"s. Since the swift death of Mollygood, Bad and Poetic, the best of these bon mots have gone relatively unnoticed. The Commies will change all that. Each week, the very best will be highlighted here for greater public consumption and, of course, judgment.
Most Refreshingly to the Point: Kait
Oprah has always had food issues, now she’s in or past menopause. Case closed.
Best Celebrity Monologue, Despite Mild Disdain for Southerners: angiebaby
Worst Case of Schadenfreude: cooter49
Furthest Away from "The Point": kris
Literally the Longest Comment Ever: Mrs. Fiesty
I can totally understand her bitterness and reluctance to have a relationship with her dad, who would want a relationship with someone who didn’t want to be bothered when it was important? And for the record, that kind of bitterness is a hurt spirit thinly veiled. He left her in the dirt for 20 years and now everything’s supposed to be all sunshine and farts because he’s ready to be a parent? Don’t sell her the BS dad, she has cows at home. I get why she just wants a check (I feel the same way and I’m almost 27 - hey, retro my payments, I have student loans to pay off). Making “daddy” sweat it out a bit over a child support payment can be one of the best therapeutic weapons in a bitter child’s arsenal. That may sound petty, but just think of what’s been going through this girl’s mind for the last 20 years (she probably spent a lot of nights dreaming of the day when she could stick it to him financially for leaving her in the wind while simultaneously leaving him in the wind relationship-wise - a day late and a dollar short daddy).
It also doesn’t help that her mother is a selfish cow who didn’t think past her O-face. It’s one thing to be left by a jerk off who realizes too late he doesn’t want anything to do with you, but it’s another thing to not even think about how your actions could potentially screw your kid up in the head by not providing a father (news flash ladies: single mothers CAN’T do it all, no matter how hard you try - you always run the risk of having a kid who ends up hating you for it). Yeah it’s too bad her boyfriend was a prick who didn’t want a family with her, but she knew that early enough to spare her daughter the heartache. Don’t make your kid suffer for your pride (oh and off topic: keep-a-man babies almost always backfire - I have two single mother friends now who learned that lesson the hard way). The mere fact that she would put her daughter’s business out in the street like this now without a care for her feelings and privacy shows what a great mother she is.
I’m sorry if I come off as sounding like a world-class b*tch, but this topic has cost me years of unhappiness and thousands of dollars in therapy and I’m no better today than I was 20 years ago when my mom started taking me to a shrink to work out my daddy issues. It ruined so many important moments in my life, including my wedding day (no dad to give me away - mom doesn’t have brothers, so no uncle either). Honestly, if I met my father today, the only thing I would want from him is a check, an apology, and a quick exit from my presence.
The "Big in Italy" Memorial Award for Britney Spears' Career: Ti Piace
Most Astute Comment of the Week: bedbugsandballyhoo
Editor
congrats to the winners…even the one who posted the longest comment ever…i couldn't even read the entire thing.
Yyyyyyes!! Six weeks running. *does the Cabbage Patch* I was slightly worried that giving into the "KFed with AIDS" thought might have broken my streak.
Congrats to this week's "winners"!
BB&B…I totally agree. I hate MTV (furthermore, they shouldn't call themselves MTV when they never show the "M's" anymore). I still remember the first day I ever laid eyes on MTV and the first video I ever saw. It used to be a great thing, and now it is just a huge machine. It's like at the end of "1984" when after so many years of fighting the Big Brother, he looks up and loves Big Brother. That is what MTV has now become…a mere diciple of Big Brother.
Yay for, Cooter. The cooter has won. I totally missed that response from Mrs. Feisy. Good thing too becuase I fell asleep while reading that whole thing. What was their point? I need a cliff notes version.
Congrats to Kitch and her losing streak!
I can't get past "You have to understand…"
I think it should have gotten, The Most Melodramatic, award. Not everyone get the parents they want but does that mean you get a card to be a victim the rest of your life?
I want one..
Congrats to the commies kids. Kitch, I'm right there with you on the losing train but you are still the A #1 champion of the non-commies.
Cooter! You owe me, I set you up for that and congrats to you.
Sugar and I are CommieTwins.
I don't think I'll ever get one again becuase of my cooter pocket.
Thank you Maria! Oh my God I cant believe I got my first commie! Although I admit I had to look up the word "shadenfreude" for anyone as ignorant as me it means taking pleasure in someone elses misfortune. Happy tears!
I just told my husband about my commie, and he as also stupid so i told him what it meant and he said thats you babe!
It was really a good one, Cooter. I did see a pic on, Best Week Ever. She was in a sleeping bag with Jon Bon Jovi. I'm not sure what that was about but at least she avoided the Sambora taint.
I haven't had a Commie since I bitched about being taken out of context. Bitter, party of one, please.
I was going to write a long and pithy about Mrs. Feisty's post then I figured why bother. Here is the Reader's Digest condensed version… Everyone has issues. Deal with it.
I was going to write a long and pithy about… = I was going to write a long and pithy COMMENT about…
I got so many issues, I have my own back-catalog…true story.
We should start some kind of support group. Burned, by the commies. I think we need about 12 steps or some shit.
And we should hire, Gloria Allred.
Thanks juju, because I was totally serious.
THAT'S IT JUJU! Then we can blame everything bad that happens in our lives on Cord and his evaluation/consideration of our thoughts and feelings! (I'm already doing that anyhow, by the way, but an organized support group would lend credence!)
Hags Anonymous?
I can't blame Bunnie, I'm too busy blaming my mother for grooming my fingernails at a young age and piercing my ears before I was 16.
Finally, this is way better than blaming it all on daddy. We'll need a t shirt stat or some kind of button. It will say we mean business.
No Commies, No Hags?
Maybe an anorgram NOHA's. NOHO'S. NOHOCO'S? NOCOHO'S?
Here's a button (but I bet it won't show up)
Nope, it didn't. This site hates artistic emoticons.
Darn it…
i didn't win one this week. i've only won two (take that kitchy!) and i've been on mollygood for three weeks (take that again kitchy!!)
That was one of those days I felt inspired to write something a little deeper and more meaningful than, "MTV sucks balls!" But there's the condensed version.
Did Mrs. Feisty start an inline auto-biography? Chapter 1: My Dad Sucks Balls
*on-line*
I can't type for balls today.
congrats to the winners!!!!
Kitchy, I think that many of us who don't win is becuase we don't post on topic, and frankly, its way more fun off topic sometimes
Hey, my K-Fed comment was directly on target.
Unless it's about, Britney. The comments nearly write themselves. Except the universe has no fingers to type with.
oh, i know.. but generally… there are a few of us who post here ::cough:: and don't type quite so much on topic.
Congrats to everyone, even Mrs. Fiesty whose lengthy missive must have been well constructed because I zoned out as I finished the first paragraph (themed 'girls need fathers') and didn't snap out of it until the last paragraph (themed 'I'm living proof'), and still found it to be a compelling argument.
I don't know what your talking about, April. I'm always current on the topic. Wherever it's veered off too. That's sort of like being on topic.
Being off topic is totally on topic in the majority of these threads. You all are totally fetch in my book. (except that one chick with the daddy issues…what was that about?)
Sweet choices, Cord!!
Mrs. Fiesty Does NOT live up to her name. What a complete waste of my time and how was that not a cut and paste job! Good lord the woman must write for Days of Our Lives.
I'd like to toast all the illustrious winners!!!
Good job to all. :-) *hic* :-)
What the hell do you mean, April? We are always on some sort of topic. Maybe I should stop drunken posting?
No way, Maria. She could never write for Days. Maybe if her daddy had come back with amnesia and married to her mothers twin sister who was thought dead after driving off a cliff. Dang, that's good. I should write for, DOOL. Not that I watch that crap.
Is Stefano back from the dead for the 673th time?
Yes but your too late, he's dead and back from the dead, again. I wish I had that skill.
I haven't watched regularly since Roman was John Black pretending to be Roman pretending to be John Black while Marlena was in a coma.
sorry ladies - im an abc soaps kinda girl - im al labout general hospital
Yeah, I still have trouble remembering who used to be who. I have a complicated chart with colors to help me out.
Lately I've been watching AMC and I still wish Sarah Michelle was Kendall. I need to let that go. Not sure who this twin girl is but she's annoying and I wish she'd drive off a cliff.
i freakin' loved sarah michelle as kendall - esp when she was with domenic, that was so creepy and boarderline incestuous
Loved One Life to Live back in the day, and had a huge crush on Mitch, because he was so evil, of course.
That was a really creepy relationship but she made it work. Back when I would watch OLL, I hated whenever they'd do the, Nicki/Vicki, thing. She made a really unattractive hooker.
Viki/Niki Smith, oh yes. Like seeing your mom work the corner in a mini-skirt. Not fun.
omg1 i loved niki/viki! I also loved when viki kept dorian trapped in a cell in her basement.
That was good. I love any kind of, trapped in the basement, storyline. Don't confuse that with the trapped in a closet. Totally different.