Amy Winehouse is out of the hospital and free to roam the streets as she pleases, which is the good news (for her). The bad news is her husband, Blake Incarcerated, has been having a raunchy pen pal affair with a fellow inmate who recently recovered from her heroin addiction. We have a feeling it's about to start back up.
The letters have been released to the media, and they're a good read if you enjoy deciphering crack talk. Some of the highlights include when he admits he and Amy opened up their relationship because she's been sleeping around and all he wants is a "loyal sweet, staunch, slutty girlfriend." Oh, and when the two pen pals finally meet up, he plans to choke her as she is performing special "favors" for him. Who says chivalry is dead?
After the jump: More incoherent ramblings, including discussion of Amy's interest in a threesome.
I’ve told Amy about you and read a bit of one of your letters. It turns her on and she wants to meet ya. I think she might write to you cuz she asked for your address. I don’t want her to know about all the personal things I’ve written to you about but you can tell her we write dirty, naughty letters to each other if you want. She’ll probably want you to write one to her! So I’m not sure how everything’s going to work out but I have a few nice ideas!! We’ll just see, innit?
Me and Amy are always gonna be close but we’ve decided we’re better as friends. The fact is we’re in an open relationship (well I didn’t know we were til recently!!!) but I don’t want that. I just want a loyal sweet, staunch, slutty girlfriend. … When we really needed them they got wrecked and f***** other people. It’s their loss innit. … Everyone blames the drugs for her being a f****** mess (or they blame me), but to be honest I’ve done drugs all my f****** life and it didn’t turn me into a complete **** . . . well a little bit I guess.
We can just sun ourselves, I can f*** you all over the country and the gear there is f****** unreal!!! Something to look forward to innit?? love love love and long leather gloves. Your Blakey x x x.
[Source]
Editor
how f****** romantic, innit?
I'll just need my crack decoder ring to make figure out what is going on here.
he's like crackhead, pervy robin hood. except he's taking drugs, not money, and he's saving it for himself. so…not really. nevermind. hey, happy two hours and forty-five minutes from 4:20 y'all.
or do i mean "past 420"? i do. ehh.
I can't wait for the Blakie Incarcerated to come to the US and get his own Reality Televsion show.
With Amy popping in….
For the love of Martha Grahm, burn those damn slippers.
IT IS SO VERY SAD I HAT THAT BLAKE he is a crak POORE AMY HER HUSBSADN IS A CRAK and he has womon riting in jale HE IS THE WERSE HE MAKE NO SENS I CAN NOT READ WAHT HE no. cant read it his anglihs is very pore MAY DUMP THIS LEEECH HE IS NO GUD O PORE AMY!!!!!!!! husbend is bastered
My favorite part is when he writes:
"I just want a loyal sweet, staunch, slutty girlfriend."
What woman could resist these lovely words? They are the words of a poet, innit?
AND HE IS FROM ENGLND!!!!!!!!!!!! hello queeencron you say you liek my nam last wke that is kind a very hapy day!!!!!!!!!!!1
Hi glrg! You just made my day!! I am humming HeartLight By Neil Diamond as we speak. :-)
yeah, what in heaven's name are you talking about glrg? is this a joke? am i missing the joke? or are you just literally that amazing?
hello adleinejane I am say that I DO NOT LIEK BLAAAAAAAKE poor AMy she think he is lvoe bu t, no. not gud man, not gud hubsand, bad all. I am Amy fan, but BLAKE IS A CRAK AND talk terible he she shoud davorse o PLASE AMY WE WANT HER TO BE BET3R!!!!!!