To pass the time between slavery and Scotch, do you often find yourself streaming old episodes of The Simpsons on illegal, Asian-based Web sites? Um, neither do we, but if we did we think we'd notice that almost every old episode offers the viewer something new at which to laugh. The show's got staying power, and a key element of that is its background puns. Specifically, the names of Springfield stores and businesses usually on screen for just seconds, like a French restaurant named Chez Guevara or the Turn Your Head and Coif hair salon.
If you're as big a nerd as we are, you've taken to coming up with your own funny names for fictitious bars and shops. Our best: a family-owned dog catching service called The Brothers Carry Mutts Off. We think it's a good one, but perhaps not the ultimate. What do you have? Leave it in the comments for appraisal.
Editor
Mao Tse Tung's Gun Emporium
or
Slow Me Down! Milosevic School for Drunk Drivers
Can I tell you how much I love the perfume, Smellin' of Troy?
What about a pool hall called A Room with a Cue? Or a mom and pop pizza joint named Lord of the Pies?
A sex shop called Venus Envy.
I can't take credit though, that really exists.
A pet store: The Hound and the Furry
A Chinese restaurant: Food Man Chew
A bra shop: Sales Rack
A maternity wear shop: Shop 'Til You Pop
Meh…
Anyhow, I have to go be mediocre at doing my Bio lab.
There is a salon called: Curl Up and Dye
A gift shop: At The Eleventh Shower
And I really like the A Room With A Cue one.
A Tanning Salon named Sa-Tan with all the women dressed in skanky red outfits and devil horns. They can also carry around a pitch fork if they'd like.
A used clothing boutique "Wore and Peace"?
Hair Salon: Against the Grayin'
Old Yeller Retirement Community
Gay bar: The Boy Pond
A kitchen store: Robbing the Ladle
A cobbler: The Taming of the Shoe
Vegan restaurant: Chlorofilled
Bridal Shop: Armed To The Bridal Wreath
Air conditioner store: Licensed to Chill
Gas station: Fill me up, Buttercup
Whore House @ Cord's House
haha jk man that doesn't even make sense.
Coffee Shop: Bean There, Drunk Caf
Gym/tanning salon: Orange You Pumped!?
Diet clinic: Waisting aweigh
Rehab: At The End Of Your Dope
Hit Me With Your Best Hops Brewery
I'm not so good at this.
Ferry Service: Away With The Ferries
Pregnancy test: Never Neverpland.
Internet Cafe: East of E-Den
Restaurant that sells… cheeseballs?: Snacks To Grind
I really liked the Hound and the Furry.
God, I've got to get back to work!!
Trashy costume jewelry store: Hoes to the Rhinestone
Okay, that one barely makes sense.
Feminist poetry group: Plath Time
Psychiatrist: Id Required.
Shop that sells dildos: Try This For Sighs
A restaurant called: I Don't Care.
hehehe, those were funny.
A chinese nail funus remedy Fungsaway.
A kidney stone dissolver for men: Rock n Cock
A Farrier's shop: The Best Little Horse House in Texas.
An ambulance service for down-at-the-heels celebrities: "Sick Transit Gloria".
Maybe a sandwich shop featuring waitresses in skintight shorts with cameltoes: "Cooters".
Lunch-hour plastic surgery office: Minute on the Lips, Forever on the Hips
The New Old School a school for aging boomers that teaches them how to be "old school."
I have always wanted to open a gay bar called "The Man Hole"
Y-E-S, Mammoth. I think we may have found the ultimate.
How about an animal control service called: To Kill a Mockingbird…and more!
Yeah I'm pretty sure Mammoth takes it on this one.
Sweet! So who wants to be an investor?
I'll invest some thongs, an old disco ball, and my Dance Mix '93 cassette.
jbonz, I'm not really appreciating comment #42.
:-(
Hedge and Shrub Trimming And Removal: Cutting Hedge
Oops. Cutting Hedge is taken. So it Lord Of The Pies. And Licenced To Chill. And… "The Man Hole & The Pipeline Where gay men come to play!" And I got tired of googling during my History class.
Never Neverpland is unique, though!
Oh.. and Try This For Sighs? Am I the only one who has head of Adam Ant?
And I have been to a restaurant called Food Man Chew. Google Man Search!
I saw Adam Ant in Kroger once. He was buying gum and a toothbrush.
True story.
Stuart called. He wants his head back.
Trump Bone Shop (for expensive musical supplies)
Speaking of gay bars, how about "The Cock Pit" or "The Mine Shaft"
Pretty sure there used to be gay bar in Chicago called "The Man Hole". I moved from the city a few years back, so I couldn't tell you if it is still open…if memory seves it was off Halsted..?
Two real businesses I've seen around my city: Seafood shop called The Codfather, and an aquarium store: The Age Of Aquariums.
I personally think a fried chicken franchise called Poulet Vous would be a winner!!
Fancast.com actually has some episodes of The Simpsons streaming for free. The quality is pretty good…thank god!
http://www.fancast.com/tv/The-...../episodes?
Dunkin Dough Balls That don't make any sense
An "adult shop" called Come As You Are
a esthetics parlour called "Hair Today Gone Tomorrow"