This weekend at the Hamptons, the world's oldest baby, Tommy Lee, publicly and shamelessly had sexual intercourse with – but of course – a blond woman. (We'll go out on a limb and guess she also had clownish implants.)
Lee's raunchy bar behavior grossed out a room full of revelers at Dune in the Hamptons on Sunday night when the Motley Crue drummer and a blond party girl "were flat-out [bleep]ing" on a banquette, according to multiple witnesses. One told us, "When Tommy walked in, he asked, 'Is it cool to have sex in here?' The hostess thought he was kidding, but . . . then he just went to town with this girl.
Palliating some of the disgrace of Lee's actions is that extravagantly displaying one's cock is de rigueur in the Hamptons, the difference is that most people have the decency to leave theirs in the parking lot.
[Source]
Editor
No thanks on the hep. b crab legs.
Hey, he asked if it was ok. If you don't want Tommy Lee fucking some chick in your establishment, you better give him a "no, siree," and quick. He don't got time to waste.
I would still do him if he put on like twelve condoms first.
His std's go way back to the 80's. I have a feeling they are resistant to all known antibiotics.
doing him is like russian roulette, but i'm a gambler baby…
i friggin' LOVE him
Nasty ass spreading his Hep C everywhere! Gross! You know they had to shut the place down for health violations after that.
Anyways, we have another "S.O.S" (son of satan) candidate to father Parasite's Anti-Christ baby. Maybe all their diseases will cancel each other out.
But, yeah, Cord, he wouldn't do her unless she got the cartoon implants first. Everything else is checked off the list; Fake Barbie hair, make-up applied with a spatula, orange-glo skin, trout pout ( I hear Tommy provides that one free of charge…except the domestic violence one HE receives afterwards), and only enough grey matter to support survival and breeding purposes.
hey hey hey
tommy lee is not a candidate for paris child, cuz hes gonna be way way WAY too buisy fathering mine.
sigh
That is a lot of firecrotch going on. I have a feeling they would go thermonuclear and that baby would be a walking time bomb or bong?
Tommy Lee would never touch Paris Hilton. Even he has standards.
exactly et! tommy would never touch her… unless she had a really cool car.. cuz he did do that nasty fat chick to ride in her car (it said so in the book… ok so maybe.
At least riding a car gives you some pleasure. Not so much for Paris. And you'd better make sure you have enough mirrors around becuase you know that hussy likes to stop for frequent touch ups. Her people hide in the closet till she needs a powder. For the face and the nose.
Yeah, but that was before he could afford his own cars, April. Now he doesn't have to whore himself out.
Now he just does whores. Sweeeet.
Well, uh, ok, you got me on that one.
I’m glad Tommy did this and I hope it’s true. The bourgeois Hamptonites think their too good. “Oh the horror”!! but I don't believe this story is true because he's too trashy to search out the actual hostess, if anything he probably just asked the person sitting nearest to him…
That's a good point. I would figure him for a bathroom farker.
oh yeah. i already cleared all this up anyway:
a. paris is going to asexually reproduce and lay her eggs in some males head - probably a poor male, they dont matter anyway
b. tommy cant have time to father her children, he'll be too buisy fathering mine.
its settled. tommy isnt a whore, just does them, and wont father paris kids, hell father mine. good then.
Ah, you're right…Parasite would only have sex on a banquette if she were being filmed and the lighting was "just right." Tommy sees it as fulfilling two survival instincts at the same time…food and sex. Eating on the go like that cuts down on the time wasted between conquests.
And let's face it, the boy has a high metabolism, so he might waste away to nothing if he didn't eat and take care of business at the same time.
high metabolism ::cough,cocaine habit, cough::
At least he wasn't canoodling her on the banquet table. If Deimos was around, Tommy and the ho would have gotten punched in the face.
Along with 38 other innocent victims.
Then there would be a lawsuit and we may be called as witnesses. Tommy would probably have sex with the lawyer while I was on the stand and I'd throw up all over the jury. It's gonna be a bad scene.
can i be the lawyer?
Your hired, har har, I made a Donald joke there.
I think you unintentionally hit upon one of April's sexual fantasies there, juju.
I'm going to take some stenography classes. I gotta get this shit down on paper.
mmmmmmmm
"i move to take you on the stand"
"motion approved"
"The Hamptons" isn't possessive. No apostrophe.
Your welcome,April. My work here is done.
You're welcome, Bunnie.
Seriously, you should be paid as an editor here.
At the very least, I would've already posted the promised update in the Halle Berry thread since her confirmation has been EVERYWHERE since yesterday afternoon.
Does he ever do updates? I know that TMZ and Dlisted update frequently, but unless I'm having a major brain fart, I don't recall Bunnie EVER updating.
he updated that blind item a few weeks ago:
http://www.mollygood.com/blind.....-20070829/
Yeah, sometimes he does. Rarely, though.
Which isn't a huge deal except the Halle story specifically says he'd let us know and her confirmation came like ten minutes after he posted it. *lol*
"Tommy Lee would never touch Paris Hilton. Even he has standards."
LOL@ET for reinterpreting the last "most groundlessly certain" winner