Sounds like they need to download her a vocabulary update. Something beyond "Tom", "Suri", "love", and "fashion".

i hate how everything is always "amazing", can't things just be fine or ok? it's like they've sucked out her brain and replaced it with a defective teddy ruxpin.

…and amazing. She simply cannot say "amazing" enough when talking about Tom. Everything with her is so generic statement. I'd love to see the personality in her that Tom claims is so great. I only see someone that sounds like she's been taken to Jonestown.

Everything is normal, nothing to see here. We are completely happy and normal.

can we turn her interviews into a drinking game?
every time you hear "tom" or "suri", take a drink.
every time you hear "amazing", "wonderful", "fall in love", or "great", take three drinks.
every time she refers to her husband by his full name, take a shot.
every time you can detect sadness or emptiness in her eyes/voice, take a shot.
any time she seems to have short-circuited, finish your drink.
any other rules that i missed?

anytime she calls her infant a woman, take a double shot.
anytime she says her infant is smarter than her, take a drink.
anytime she says she thinks she's dreaming, take a 4 drinks.
anytime she says she's the luckiest girl in the world, take 3 shots.

Ahhh, I'm seeing double. This game is dangerous.

Right at this moment, I am thinking it really seems nice and peaceful to be brainwashed/drugged/hypnotized into thinking
that you have all your childhood dreams come true, that your life is perfectly wonderfully
butterflies and rainbows.

And she's rich too.

Brilliant game!!!!

ignorance is blissfully amazing!

cult think all the way

Um, she did say that when she was younger she thought that by now she'd be married to Tom Cruise, and that was in an interview from about a month before they came out as a couple. So she didn't suddenly make that part up.

Also, why all the love for pointless drinking games? Just keep drinking, you'll get drunk.

a month before they came out as a couple, a month after her scientology brainwashing.

Yes, any lazy old drunk can do just that Frowney,
I like to be more creative. Also, in drinking games, you can be just as competitive as you want, but everyone wins.

It's fun for everyone. What's not to love about that?

i love deimos's rules regarding katie's infant-praising

They both look beautiful IMO.

yes, beautifully programmed.

I bet if he asked her to hop on one leg and bark like a dog she would.

From the article:
DO YOU WATCH YOUR DIET?
I'm like every girl out there, I eat bad things in moderation and I work out.

…um no we don't.

queencrone-

Drinking as a creative outlet sounds like a cry for help. Drinking to grease the wheels of creativity, well, that's Christopher Hitchens's whole career.

i work out but fuck eating bad foods in moderation. if i ate bad food in moderation i wouldn't have to exercise, who wants to do both? now i shall eat my bag of doritos in peace, i'll work off the calories later.

I eat bad food in moderation, and the only workout I get is in the bedroom.

Q: What's your ideal way to die?

A: Tom and Suri amazingly smother to me, wonderfully, together. I think that would be fantastic. They are so strong.

Frowny McBeard, I've got a cold one right here for you. And a frosted mug as well. Let's have some fun. :-)

HELP! HELP! HELP! :-) !!!!

Do you think she meant "autistic", in the last question and the interviewer heard her wrong???

Also, why would you want to be stuck in an elevator with your husband and baby?! That's cruel. I would like to be stuck in an elevator with someone who I didn't love, so that they wouldn't have to go through the inconvenience. What a selfish thing to say.

Oh how much I loved her back when she was on TV and with Chris Klein..
She's gone Stepford since the Cruise camp has gotten to her.

zombie hands, thanks for the morning cackle. I love that movie.

Prince Akeem: Bark like a dog
Amani: Arf, arf, arf
Prince Akeem: A big dog.
Amani: Woof, woof, woof.

I am sorry, but those drinking games are socially irresponsible. Everyone playing would be in an alcohol-induced coma in no time.

You know, I truly believe that some people just REALLY don't like to have to think for themselves. Tom Cruise "interviewed" many young ladies to play the part of his wife and finally found one he could take complete control of.
Apparently, he found it appalling that Steven Spielberg's allows his wife so much freedom and doesn't keep 24/7 tabs on her. It seems tommy boy flipped out on Spiel's wife when she took katie out to lunch without notifying him first. It reportedly put a bit of strain on director/actor relations.