• Ever since Michael Jackson was found innocent of the child molestation charges, his life has really been looking up. Oh wait… [PITNB]

• At least the first time Britney Spears was pregnant she wore a bra and maternity clothes. Sometimes she forgot to zip her pants, but we take what we can get, people. [PopSugar]

• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes took their sham to a more legally binding level by getting engaged. One year later they've taken the big step–finishing the prenup. [Defamer]

• Engaged or not, Tom Cruise still maybe slept with Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20. Least cool maybe gay rumor ever. [A Socialite's Life]

• And Angelina Jolie was arbitrarily tattooing herself. Some things never change. [CityRag]