he's just wondering if those guys would be interested in trying his sex ramp cord.

The sex ramp probably isn't even Clooney's, he was probably just moving it for these two frail old lovers (one weilding a tiny axe?). I mean lets be serious, as sexy as George is, he doesn't seem like he's all that adventurous in bed. He's more like the kinda guy that has been really really ridiculously good looking all his life so he never had to be very good at sex because chicks would do him anyway. So he's spent his entire life having boring, dreary, dry middle-class, missionary grope and spasm thinking he's the man.

haha middle class sex… dress socks and all.

MALCOVICH!

Before I saw the tags, I was thinking,"My word, the old fart in the robe looks a lot like Malcovich." Apparently because it is.

And apparently he's stolen my granpas slippers and robe. He's just missing the gold toe socks. What on earth did that dude from nearly every movie made who's name I always forger, due to enrage the, MALK!?

malcovich malcovich malcovich

I mean from nearly every movie made, who's name I always forget, do to enrage. I don't think he scheduled it in his book or anything. 11:00 am, enrage Malkovich.

I am John Malkovich.

He kept saying "Mary Reilly" in hushed tones.

That movie enraged me. I imagine it enraged the Malk since he had to be… you know… *in* it.

malkovich malkovich malkovich

Oh, Mary Reily, was an infortunate movie. I forgot it was even made.

MALLLKOOOOOOVICH!

Is that the Julia Roberts as like some maid or something?

yes indeedy. a very homely julia roberts as dr. jekyll/mr. hyde's homely ass maid. did i mention she was hella homely?

It was so bad, I spent most of it doing laundry.

Somebody's calling me, hold on, gimmie, gimmie, more. This is the part where I break it down.

i just laughed long and hard at that, juju.

Good thing you can't see the breakdown. Roger Rabbit, anyone? I like to throw in a little, Cabbage Patch. Don't hurt em, Hammer. Uh oh, uh oh. uh oh, uh oh.

I like to mix it up with the Running Man and the Moonwalk. I'm silly like that.

Oh Clooney, you old bat you. juju: I put on a schooling as I'd like to call it, with all those dances and 80s Michael Jackson the other night. It was glorious… Jack Daniels was involved.

It's time for the, Sooouuuuuuul Train, line.

WHen I was a kid, I was going to grow up and be on that show. My life just went downhill from there. Oh, and Solid Gold. I had my dance all set. It was to, Gloria.

Gloria, you're always on the run now
Running after somebody, you gotta get him somehow
I think you've got to slow down before you start to blow it
I think you're headed for a breakdown, so be careful not to show it

I thought my outfit would be something in, Gold Lame. Fabulous. Braided headband included.

Leg warmers, as well? you'd have to the ribbons on your arms too. Hot cha cha!

juju…i had that song stuck in my head from first thing this morning until about an hour ago…i went out for my lunch break, listened to a little "Psycho Killer" by the Talking Heads and was happy, but now Twitney is back…
gimme, gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme more

where is my stripper pole?

It's like the herpes. You want to get rid of it, but it just keeps coming back like a bad rash.

The herpes?

Gloria is my karaoke song, yo. Don't make me close my eyes when I sing while doing shots of tequila. It's not pretty.

Yeah I do shots of Tequila with my eyes closed. Sometimes I do 'em like Chevy Chase in Caddyshack… suck the lime, snort the salt off my hand, and pour the tequila over my shoulder.

Tequila makes me do bad things. Not Denise Richards-esque things, but bad things just the same.

Tequila makes me take my clothes off…or make out with people…or both. Often both.

too much? sorry kids.

OMG, I can't think about yourmom taking body shots off the topless barback. My eyes, my eyes. Tom-Ba me. Why mom, why?

Somebody just flushed his lunch.

LOL! I'm SO sorry, guys. Couldn't resist!

Sorry juju. Sometimes my sexuality escapes me

There are pics of me involving body shots in Miami last year.

I'm going to prove you wrong. I'm going to have sex with him a few times. Just to be sure. He's obviously not going to pull out the poop till at least the 3rd time.

It's a Peepaw convention!

That's fine mom. Just pay for my therapy and we'll call it even.

Juju, to make it worse, there are pics of me doing a body shot at Coyote Ugly in Ft. Lauderdale last spring after the infamous cheating lawyer/mugging incident.

My guy friends applauded those photos.

You'd better hope Joe Francis wasn't around. You may be watching, Comedy Central around 1 am one day and see your pixilated boobies flashing the tv.

Here's some irony - I went to Florida State, famous for its co-eds' appearances in GGW. Despite that, I'm nearly 29 and managed to get through college never once flashing my boobs at Mardi Gras or in any other public setting.

Likewise, my Britney is also not for public consumption. :)

i kept running into john malkovich at a local bank here in cambridge about 3 yrs ago, repeatedly. i kept getting the head nod from him…he was dressed in white, top to bottom. white shirt, white slacks, white dress shoes. no idea what that's about. everyone around him was acting too cool for school but i stared at him like a retard. i knew the bank clerk and she told me he just moved to the area and because he didn't want his kids growing up in france…apparently it was too anti-american over there. shocking, i know. my one great brush with fame…unless you wanna include the married local radio dj i used to fuck.

Friggin married men are the worst. Be who you be, aaaiiiit!

So, help me understand his logic. You don't want to live in, France. So how did he end up choosing, Boston? Is it, France Like?

And on the dj, did he use his dj voice during sex?

beantown is like france; socialist, u.s. hating, minus the pretentious accents but the attitude, it's all here baby!

nah…the DJ guy was pretty normal. cute as hell and my first, uh, daddy-type. he was like 20 yrs. older…now i have a fixation on hot daddies, in addition to all my other fixations. thanks mr. DJ!!

i thought i answered you but the mollygood servers have once again eaten my answer. the DJ guy was a cute daddy type…a lot older, laid back. no, he didn't use his DJ voice as i wanted to maintain an erection.