Biden, How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Biden: What newspapers do you read?

What's that you say? A coherent, intelligent response about where you get your news? Oh, thanks Biden.

Mr. Biden, if you had it to do over again…would you notate your sources properly and give credit where it is due?

Governor Palin, How much did you charge rape victims for their rape kits?

Governor Palin, why do you hate America?

Gov. Palin, why would anyone in their right mind vote you into office?

Palin: What speech did Biden give when you were in the 2nd grade?

Governor Palin, do you wax, shave, or trim your bush? Or are you all mountain-girl wild bramble down beloooooooowww…?

Mr. Biden, how thrilled are you that you were selected for the VP slot even though everyone clearly thinks Hillary Clinton would be a better choice?

et: Biden has already said he made a serious error in judgment and would do it differently if given the chance for a "do-over."

And, for the record, a lot of people don't think Hillary Clinton would be a better choice. I would have been really pissed if Obama had chosen her.

Mr. Biden, how do you deal with the people who think Hillary would be a better choice because she's 'entitled' to it, even though you're logically better? Why do you remind me of my grandpa and will you give me a hug?

(And by Mr. Biden, I mean Senator Biden) Sorry for the disrespect Senator

Governor Palin, once again, how does Alaska's proximity to Russia count as foreign policy experience?

Governor Palin, how many years ago do you think the world came into existence?

Ms. Palin, this is "Banned Book Week," and my local library is celebrating ideas and creativity by honoring Shel Silverstein. Which authors do you hate the most, and why?

Look, people, I am asking the Biden questions around here because everyone else is taking the Palin ones. Let me have my fun, dammit.

Governor Palin, how do you expect others to respect your daughter's DECISION to keep her baby when you want the government to outlaw other people's ability to choose what would be best for them?

Yeah, ok et. Let's hear 'em, then. :)

SENATOR Biden, are you jealous that GOVERNOR Palin is getting asked all of the good questions, and you are being largely ignored?

governor palin, how much aquanet would you say you go through in a month?

Senator Biden, speaking for all old white men, how often do you feel guilty?

Senator Biden, are you offended when people refer to Palin as sexy when clearly you are a hot piece of ass yourself?

1. Mrs. Palin, since the country knows that you sound pretty unqualified when you try to adlib, where's the receiver hidden to feed you your talking points during the debate tonight?
1A. Is it in your 'up do'?

2. When you told Katie Couric about how Alaska keeps an eye on Russia to prevent Putin from rearing his head over Alaska airspace, did you…
A: Did you know that Putin actually isn't in charge over there anymore?
B. Ever see a Putin head fly over Alaska before?

3. Since you gave a speech to a group that wants Alaska to split off from the US to become its' own country…
-'Huh? Oh, you don't recall? The one that your husband is a member of.'-
Anyway, if you got your wish and split off from the US, who would protect Alaska from the flying Putin heads???

Governor Palin, regarding the global activities of Al-Qaeda: How do you rank the following nations (in descending order of criticality) in importance to the national security of the United States?

Eritrea
Sudan
Phillipines
Iceland
Algeria
Indonesia
Bosnia
New Jersey
Yemen
Pakistan

Do fish love oil rigs more than caribou love pipelines?

Uh… #26 is directed at Governor Palin.

Thanks, maria, I just spit coffee all over my key board!

"protect Alaska from the flying Putin heads"

That's classic, JD. It can be her slogan when she runs for re-election for Governor of Alaska after McCain loses the election.

@ No. 4 evil twin

Good one. :)

I just hope Gwen Ifill makes them answer the questions and not let them spin them on to something else. I'm tied of both camps dodging questions. If they keep it up Ifill should ask them, why is it so hard for you to tell the truth?

@ poo…

We're getting way ahead of ourselves here. Let's keep it simple:

"Gov. Palin, can you please spell the word 'Eritrea' and use it correctly in a sentence. I'll give you a hint: it's a noun.

22 and 23 made me laugh!

and poo, I love you but stop with NJ bashing! I'll send my friend Vito "the Neck" Marscone to discuss this with you.

Excluding radioactive dating methods, why is there so much coherence among most, if not all, branches of science and their various dating methods that suggest the earth and life on earth have been around far longer than 6,000 years. How does young earth creationism, which you espouse, explain the distribution of life over time–for example, the fact that birds appear later in the fossil record than feathered dinosaurs?

Optional questions: If evolution is flawed and the only other possible explanation is Creation, then why should we teach the Hebrew Creation myth in our schools rather than the Hindu?

If you believe that it is okay to place a placard listing the Ten Commandments in a public school, would you support placement of a placard with an engraving of the Wiccan Rede in a public school as well?

I hope Joe Biden brings something to read, he'll be damn bored if the debate goes like this.

Hey Biden, ever think of getting a little nip/tuck in the ole face area?

(sorry people, I have nothing.)

Sarah Palin, do you feel God is frowning upon you as you try to compete in a man's world? Did your husband expressly order that you run for VP, and do you obey all his other mandates, as you should? If you disagree with Biden, wouldn't it be prudent for you to defer to his masculine authority and silence yourself out of respect?

governor palin, should we burn or drown the witches that currently threaten this great country?

governor palin, since you are doing such a great job protecting us from Russia can we get California to keep an eye out on China?

How many days of the year does one have to go to work as mayor of a town of 8000? Greater than or less than 10?

How do you spell Russia?

Do you know of any other countries in the world other than Russia, Iraq, or Korea?

Governer Palin, what's it like to know you ruined your daughter's life?

Governer Palin, are you supposed to rinse your face and then pluck your eyebrows… or pluck your eyebrows and then rinse your face? Tip: your pores are open and vulnerable, giirrrllll!

Governer Palin, I hate you. Oh, sorry, questions only… hhhmmm…

Governer Palin, how did you keep your skin hydrated in Alaska's cold, dry climate?!!

Can you also see the North Pole from your house? What's Santa really look like?

Governer Palin, if you had 3 months to make Santa fit, what steps would you take?

Governer Palin, are you sure God wants *you* to be fruitful and multiply? Cause…

Governor Palin, if your dear friend of 30 years (who happens to be gay) made that choice earlier in her life, as you've said, at what age were you when you decided to prefer peen over poon?

Governor Palin, did you know that phone call you asked Frank Bailey to make to try to get your ex-brother-in-law fired was being taped or did you just not care?

sar (#36)–Can that PLEASE actually come up?

Also: "Gov. Palin, is it possible for me to stock up on abortions before you make them illegal? I've got some extra shelf space in my closet."

What exactly are reindeer games? Does Rudolph get to participate now?

No Stunner, Rudolph would be mistaken for a moose, get a cap in his ass, and become Sloppy Joes for the Palin family dinner.

Sloppy Rudys?

Senator Biden, will you agree to show us your abdominal muscles so we can confirm that YOU are the Joe Six Pack that Govenor Palin keeps talking about?

Following qc's note Seantor Biden, will you then pose for a calendar?

Apparently I have a bit of a daddy fetish. I'm gonna go cope with that now.

Wait, Sarah Palin has a gay friend of 30 years? I need more information.

after the way she's been hiding from the press, I have been saying for a while that there really is only one question that Palin should be asked first. (and when you think about it, you all must admit that I'm right here)….
.
Governor Palin - recent studies have shown that 1/5 of Americans can't locate the US on a world map. Why do you think this is?

I personally believe…that this is because some people don't have maps and that the US should help the education in those places like the Iraq such as.

senator biden, are you in favor of a constitutional amendment mandating that the phrase "hot cup of joe" be changed to "hot cup of biden"?

senator biden, what is your position on the phrase "butter face"?

please list three prominent historical figures, living or dead, who you would describe as having a butter face. no, senator, michael phelps does not count.

(for the record, i know i should have said
"whom". judge. grammar. etc. et cetera peter cetera. michael cera.)

Hot cup of Biden! Love it.

Governor Palin,just curious–how do you have time to read ALL of the magazines and newspapers in the world?

Senator Biden: Why do you believe we should pull our troops from Iraq only to then send them to Sudan?

Governor Palin: Why do you feel the need to have so many pictures of yourself with dead animals?

Senator Biden: If you think happily paying highter taxes is patriotic then why do you only give one half of one percent of your money to charities?

Governor Palin: Just because Sir Nigel Sheinwald's name was on your list, you knew you never saw him nor spoke with him. Can you explain why you claimed that you did?

stm not to be a total dork but i'm pretty sure they officially lightened up on the who/whom rule

How about, "Can anyone here, on stage, in the audience, or out in the television audience tell me the qualifications of Barack Obama that would lead any sane person to believe that he would be able to get through his first month in office without damaging our country due to his inexperience in an executive position?" I've yet to hear what his qualifications are.

Oh, brother. Look it up, upchuck, true story.

Why wait to be spoon fed information. Search it out for yourself. I found information on both men all by myself like a big girl. It really wasn't all that hard.

SPOON FEED ME ON THE TAXPAYER DIME! FAKEY SOY CHEESE!

23 hours since I left that post and no one could come up with a single qualification.