He's so much better looking from the side and with a bathing cap on. What? Just sayin'.

classy, huh?

I guess asking him about that pic of him in the full body bathing suit is out, then.

Is it classy to ask him what side he dresses on?

Awww I'm happy for you! One time I got to meet Macaulay Culkin, that wasn't near as awesome, since I didn't begin to idolize him until after I met him. Also I'm sorry about the unfortunate looking recent wax figure of Michael Phelps, which was… unfortunate. looking.

Maybe ask him if he knows you have been to the club about fifty'leven times.

Is it classy to ask if you can have a banana hammock to sleep with? I wonder if he has a tangerine speedo?

No.. Michael.. Phelps. What's Michael Phelps doing on this blog when I told you, NO Michael Phelps, EVVERR!!

Is there anyway you can get him to autograph a marriage license for you? Hide it under a magazine picture or something?

Will you marry me (me being you)?

Do you feel spencer was, in fact, condescending to heidi's mom?

What news publications do you read, please be specific?

His shoe size, of course.

when will you be getting your grill fixed?

Mr. Phelps, considering your butter face, what is your position on I Can't Believe It's Not Butter(Face)?

ManBearPig! I need you to do me a gargantuan favor. I need you to click through to my blog and leave me a comment.

It's a secret.

You know what's not a secret?

THE FACT THAT MICHAEL PHELPS HAS A BUTTERFACE!!!

FIN.

How about, Does that ability to hold your breath a lot help you do anything special in the bedroom?
Ooops, I forgot. You're going for 'classy'.

stm, you might wanna fix that link to your blog.

Ask him if he's seeing anybody, then regardless of answer, ask him if you can take him to a shady back alley pub where you'll both get shit faced.

oh yeah. good point.

thanks, Run!

Ask him if he'll let me blow him. I'm a chick, if you didn't know. And I'm totally hot and not married to a hot ass soldier at all….

Whittle Little To Meet Her Future Husband
Fate

"So, Michael, are you going to come out on People like my last future husbands?"

i love sugar's!

also this, from april "Will you marry me (me being you)?"

and say it with the parentheses part, just like that. :) i didn't get it at first and it cracked me up.

ha! i didn't get it either, at first sar. and then i felt stupid. and then i got scared. and then i got it!

manbearpig, please report to me. i repeat. please report to me.

i'm eating a bic mac. i would like to discuss this with you.

sugar, you're a genius.

a genius, i say!!

Roger that, stm. Can I 10-81 at the Marriott for the two of us?

Riker: Is an ass soldier anything like a rump ranger?

also, jujubees!

and SM: Perfecto!

have fun you lil skank you

Damnit, I probably needed to put on my J. Crawford mask… Or I'm just painfully unfunny.

I'll go with the latter.

I am having double-cheeses now.

Does the constant water exposure yield permanent shrivel?

You're going to want to ask him a question that he wants to answer. That way, he's more likely to take more time answering, thus allowing you to work your feminine guile on him.
.
Everyone is asking him about the medals, so don't ask him that or you'll get the same answers that everyone else gets.
.
As a general rule, it doesn't hurt to ask a question that allows him to look good.
.
Ask him to talk about his favorite charity, or ask him if he ever wants to coach kids, or ask if he has any times for kids trying to follow in his footsteps.
.
And if that doesn't work, ask him to autograph your ass.

^ tips, not times

thank you lily! if you would do me this honor and click through to my blog and leave me a comment, i'll be your butter face.

:D

Yeah and click through YOUR FACE and leave a message for YOUR FACE. No offence.

(Do you guys like my random impression of a troll?)
(Disclaimer, I heart Lily and ManBear, I just felt like saying YOUR FACE a few times, and misspelling offense.)

ps MAY YOU DOWN IN FLAMES!

(Not really).

COMMIE FOR MOST BIPOLAR POST!

Not really bipolar though.

YES IT IS!

Ask him if his dick is also doublejointed.

um yeah. lily, i don't know why i'm thanking you since sm=sugar magnolia.

tomayto. tomahto.

drinks!

Ask him if your FACE is doublejointed.

Ha ha. Boo yaaaah.

not your actual face.

it's clearly time for nyquil and bed. and don't worry your face is lovely, i'm just being an ayyhole because it entertains me.

what kind of sea creature were you before you adapted to life on land?

malcolm has great ideas. I have nothing original to add, unfortunately, other than some geeky questions about his favorite books and movies.

Lily! Oh no- my "hot ass soldier" is just a gorgeous man. When I find a great rump ranger, I'll tell the tale. But for now, we's just boring vanilla. Sorry.

Ask him if he likes caviar.
And then before he can answer, quickly interrupt him by asking him if he would like to eat if off you.
Mentioning caviar I assume automatically makes it classy.

Ask him, "Now that you've made millions in endorsement deals, when can we expect you to get your teeth fixed?"

ask him if he gets achy muscles from all the training, then ask him if he wants a massage.

If things aren't going so well you may need to show a little bit of boob. I know your classy and all but there isn't a strait man alive that can resist the power of the boob. At the very least show him your bra strap, that could buy you another 30 seconds to work your charms.

Wellll… I wouldn't recommend directing him to this thread.

Ok. Ask him about his work teaching children to swim.

Next, ask him if he can teach you to swim.

Get a firm date on said lesson. Close the deal.

I know you can do it!

Yeah get the date! Ask him if his Speedos are mirrored, cause you can see yourself in them. Then go, "HEY OH!" and hold up your hi-five hand for a minimum of 5 seconds before repeating it a little more softly, "hey oh!"