I figure it's just that they are a amplified version of people we all know. We all know some crazy bitch who is still talking about the man that dumped her years ago. We can't wait for her to do another batshit thing.

Yeah…I get the whole "quarterback/cheerleader" theory…BUT…as you mentioned, Angelina is SUPER SEXY, and isn't that what EVERY GUY wants, no matter what they say?! Touche!

I am as confused as the next person. I'll admit that they are all attractive people, but that's as far as it goes. Jennifer cant carry a movie and the Oprah interview! I have never in my life seen a more uncomfortable situation. That cake? No one in the audience knew how to react. Her dogs? Again, no one knew how to react. She was there for maybe ten minutes and it was embarassing. Much nervous laughter….J was clearly uncomfortable and I read it was last minute for damage control.

oh snaps, cord is drinkin' and postulatin'?

i have to say, i sort of love the concept.

also, it reminded me of this post by the awesome chick who is blogging all the sweet valley high books:

http://thedairiburger.wordpres.....d-of-girl/

angelina jolie is annie whitman. jennifer aniston is jessica wakefield. i guess that would make brad pitt bruce patman? todd whatever the frack his last name is who elizabeth dated?

what cracks me up is that angelina isn't even all that unusual anymore. or at least not in public. back when she was eatin' asian pie, and wearin' blood around her neck, and getting all stabby with people, i found her much more interesting. part of me hopes she's still shooting up, or stabbing people, or has some sort sex dungeon in her house.

she's hot. jen got screwed. i'm sure jen was a bitch and stole someone's man back in her day too. who among us hasn't acted like an asshole at a certain point? maybe it's her karma time. it comes for everyone.

I think people care because it was so scandalous the way they got together. I think a lot of people can identify with that kind of betrayal. And for him to move so quickly into a new life with all of those kids is a bit unusual to say the least. Other than that, noone really cares.

But I have another reason why it may seem people care: because blogs and the media put this stupid sh*t in our faces!!!

Ummm, my man and lots of others I know think Angie is an unattractive skank.

I don't care for any of these turds (only bradly for a bit when fight club came out cause I'm a sure freak Chuck Palanuik fan).
I skip over posts related to these turds, winehouse, shitney, diddle, and kanye only because I have lost my breath calling these morons-douches and turds.
I do enjoy Cords observation. As someone who was neither popular, slutty, gothy outcast, a jock or anything I can't relate but I understand others preoccupation as they perhaps fit into one of those categories.
What I mostly get from this post is that I need to do some drinking tonight.

I like Cord's theory…

people need to get a life.

eatin' asian pie-Sweet Valley High! LMAO :)
STM, I fucking love you!
you have been a delight.
have a wonderful weekend everyone
and Cord I shall have a double shot of Wild Turkey in your honor
xo

I like you, Cord, but why is Angelina a "slut"? She did not make a commitment to anyone at the time when she met Brad. Brad was the one who was MARRIED to Jennifer and he cheated on her (or so).

anyway, I don't really care. t's been years. People need to move on and get the fuck over it. I hope that Brad and Angelina are happy together. and I hope jennifer finds her true love.

sappy, i know, but whatever.

I think that Pitt traded up to a younger, hotter, and more successful Jolie. Anisten is a nice girl, wasn't she a nutri-system model. It sucks that she got dumped. Angie is the one that sells the rags though and whoever she is dating will get attention as well.

i just wrote this on an old brangeloonie thread, but my "sources" say that jennifer is not the uptight cheerleader bitch oprah watchers' role model that she is assumed to be. she actually is quite a beer swillin' weed smoker guys' girl.

she and brad smoked a lot of weed when they were married (a friend of mine saw their "wall of pot pieces").

sheds some light on the "uncool" comment. i mean, have you ever met someone who said "uncool" who didn't smoke weed?

but then again, jolie used to ride the H train. so, i guess jolie outdrugs jen.

they should all just shut their pie holes. but if they did, whatever would we hens cluck about?

cluck
cluck
fuck.

also, other sources say that gwyneth paltrow is (or at least was) quite the weed smoker too. (i have a friend who smoked a joint with her in the alley of a silverlake bar before she made seven with brad and got her head all chopped off and shit.)

maybe brad pitt own a greenhouse in humboldt county and lures hot girls in with promises of grandaddy purp and pineapple express?

california chronic. makes people do crazy shit.

(i'm seriously not making up any of these stories. you live in LA for 7 years and you hear things from people about people… and what they smoke.)

What I don't get about all this is why everyone assumes Jen was all innocent in this. If her and Pitt's marriage was good there wouldn't have been any problems. I think there was a lot of shit going on behind closed door that the public never saw, nor should have. I think the marriage went bad before he cheated on her. That doesn't make what he did right but I don't think she was completely blameless in it. The fact that she is the one who keeps bring it up says a lot about her. At this rate she will have BRAD PITT DONE ME WRONG engraved on her tombstone so she can bitch about it forever.

People need to treat this subject like seeing a homeless person on the street. Check your cell phone and pretend you don't see them.

wow, really? i usually like to look homeless people in the eye and smile at them to let them know that just because they are homeless doesn't make them subhuman.

crikey.

Off topic politically incorrect joke but gives me a chuckle..

What's the difference between sarah palin's mouth and her vagina?

only one retarded thing has ever come out of her vagina..

Hey oh!

When I saw Jen & Angelina I automatically glossed it over, but as I scrolled down I noticed that you were posting it. So, I read on. All I can say is… try not to waste your time theorizing about something so nugatory (new word!). I think thousands of people have sat down in their chairs, with their liquor in their hand and wondered "What's all this about Brad, Angelina and Jen?" "Why is it so?".
Basically…
We give a shit about Brad and Jen and Angelina because we are absolutely retarded. Simple. (in the kindest sense to those mentally retarted - and in the cruelest sense to everyone else).

It's a wonderful feeling to have a reason and explanation for people's insane stupidity, it gives you some peace of mind to have something to blame them for instead of just accepting it. Unfortunately, I've come to accept it. Not that you're wrong but… god what a way to waste the time.

Cord, I think you may be on to something.

Thank you Caroline - I'm still chuckling. As for Brad and Jen - who really gives a damn. And stopthemadness - oi - you're stealing our language. Us Aussies get confused when other people say 'Crikey'.

i sheepishly laughed at that caroline.

;)

i'm going to new zealand next month, so i'm practicing my "crikeys" and "cunts" and "mates."

australia and new zealand. same thing, right, mate?

;)

This can prove to be a great example to all those lonely cheerleaders out there…They CAN get over it and find a linebacker perfect for them. SCORE! TIGHT END! :)

You could be right on with your theory. We're raised to believe in good winning over bad, and saying I'm Sorry forgives a mistake or error in judgement, however, when you are left waiting for that sign of , "I know i was bad, i'm sorry" and it never comes, but you get instead,"I'm bad, and i'm loving it, and i'm gonna shove it down your throat each and every time i get an opportunity"…well, enough said

Angelina is the woman every woman fears. Hot, young, sexy, puts out, looks like she enjoys sex, or DTF, if you will. Then your man is all like "Angie is cool" or "Angie said something really funny at work today".

And you don't think anything could happen because you're married and you keep your figure right. But younger and hotter wins. That scares American housewives who don't have all of the advantages that Jennifer Aniston had and still couldn't hold on to her man.

We're interested because it's a diversion from our own lives. And this crap hit the scene when celebrity blogs started taking off and jobs got infinitely more boring.

Dude I think you're taking it too far. We're interested because they're famous and it was a scandal when Brad and Angie got together (because of the cheating aspect). And I think that's about it.

I like your analogy Cord, but I don't see Aniston as the popular cheerleader at all. I see her more as just random Pretty Girl that wasn't the hot, popular cheerleader and wasn't going to be valedictorian. So when Super Popular Quarterback picked Just Pretty Girl to be his date for the prom, it gave hope to all the other Just So girls that a popular stud would overlook the Hot girls and pick one of them too. And people didn't get over the fact that Super Popular Dude ended up acting like all the other Super Popular Dudes by ditching the nice girl for the slut.

Wait…am I drinking what you're drinking?

I agree, nice theory. It's funny to me because i've been on both sides of the aisle — golden girl and dark slut. but when i was the golden girl, all i wanted to do was throw caution to the wind and become this va-va-voom seductress. and once i had achieved that, all i wanted was for some guy to come and see past all the smoke and mirrors and make me an honest woman. weird, right?

as a disclaimer, i, too, have been drinking (wait…was that too many commas?).

oh my god it could be that im drunk and i would adore anyone who had at least one eyeball and half a brain right now. but the shitstorm that has been the 08 election almost made me forget that cord is a little bit awesome.

look really, the eyeball is NOT a requirement.

I don't think Angelina is seen as the "dark slut" anymore. She's seen more as a sexy "humanitarian."
And I think that people only care because a FAMOUS person was cheated on by another FAMOUS person with another FAMOUS person. People gossip about extramarital affairs all the time, just more so when the subjects are "stars." Jealousy and infedelity interest people. Also, people like seeing famous people they are jealous of in pain. Or they like to be able to have someone to identify with. And I don't think people were surprised that he went for the hotter one. (People still call her "MANiston.")

@ No. 8- Broomstick

Thank god someone said it.

Oooh Broomstick, I was with you until I saw your post, #10. sappy? yes. they're not real people you know… just CNN holograms made for our entertainment.

stm, if yer going to NZ, switch your "cunt and mate" for "cuz and bro" and you'll be sweet as!

Because Jen was a bitchy GF who thought she was Jolie hot hanging out with a skunk. And then she got pwnd.

Who among the jilted can't relate to a good smack down?

Worse, she's still a bitch and can't quite come to the self actualization that she is just not a nice person.

Therefore, she is the perfect grudge fuck. :-)

I missed all this, damn! My two cents: people are fools and believe in the "happily ever after." A seemingly healthy relationship with attractive people, who were rich and had everything one needs' for a good marriage. Then it changed. For another woman. Not to be lame, but it is like that part in French Kiss, where Meg Ryan says "and then I realized, there's no home safe enough, no relationship secure enough, you're setting yourself up for a bigger fall." Shit happens, things you can't control and people HATE having a concrete example. Your life can go from perfect to shit quickly, even if you are "doing everything right," and no one likes to be reminded of that.

Woah! Take out that apostrophe from "needs'" GAH!

STM — Now I have to spend the whole days reading that Sweet Valley blog. And I'm spending too many seconds wondering if JA = Jessica Wakefield. Is it too early to continue drinking?

or, it could be that men may be initially attracted to the superficially cute exterior, but when there is nothing but vacuous emptiness on the inside, they realize what they really want is a full three dimensional human being on the same plane as they are. it just so happens that jen is cutesy but not that deep, and angelina is womanly and far more than just her looks.

jmo. jen needs to stop whining and spend more time getting decent movies, cuz her looks are waning and her desperation with john mayer is just sad. really sad.

How about this for a theory?

Nobody really cares. Fact is, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston continue to make themselves RELEVANT to our society by commenting on the past to fuel tabloids, by publishing their private breastfeeding / family photos in magazines and by continuing to live their lives as one big, fat spectacle so they can have more media attention, more fame, more power, more money. They need for people to continue to gaggle and drool over their lives so that they can continue to live their extravagant lifestyles. Sure, at this point, they could stop having kids and making snarky comments - but then they wouldn't be as relevant. And at this point, they are as addicted to us as we are to them.

Caroline - your joke wasn't funny, it was offensive. Some people have Downs babies and happen to value and love their lives - and are above referring to them as "retards." As Mollygood would put it, "FAIL."

I see it as quite the opposite, Angelina is the popular cool cheerleader and Aniston was the girl next door. I think it bothers people because it strikes close to home for some women. Most women have been cheated on, let down, and surprised by a man who they thought they knew. Now these women usually move on and do fine, but could you imagine seeing the person who let you down on every magazine, newstand, or tv show flaunting the perfect life he now lives with the woman who he cheated on you with.

J wasnt actually the girl next door when she was younger….more the not so cute nerd. thats why her makeover went to her head. she seems kind of cold and probably doesnt care for sex. A the wild child who settled down and had kids and found a big puppy to follow her aaround. these people are whackier than all the people I know. I had five kids and no nannies….I read a quote that they couldn't be together with more than four bc it was chaos. Why even have all those kids if you cant be together as a family. Isn't that the point? Angelina is not mother of the year. Those of us who do it on our own are. I wish she'd stop flaunting motherhood as something new…it's been going on for years. My grandmother had 10 kids with no help and a farm to run.

I think some people do care. You or I may not, but some people are heavily invested. I mean, make a joke and either the brangeloonies or aniston freaks are all over you. People are really into this saga (maybe because they can't watch their stories in the afternoon?), and it is weird. But no more weird that me speculating about it, I guess. Ha! Doubly freakay!

To answer your question, I guess you're just doing your job well.

I would like to know how those girls smoke all the weed yet stay so skinny?

They barf after they get the munchies, I guess. I always forgot that part.

Brad is a lucky man..I wonder what drug his third wife is going to be into…mushrooms maybe?
I'm sure someone cares about celebs …but only those who are permanently pissed….like Cord.

Hey maybe Brad will make Amy Swinemouth his next beautiful bride.. it would certainly entertain the masses…love is the drug

Jen isn't a shy, virgin cheerleader.. she's been around the block, was always selfish little brat that refused to give birth until she became famous and got all the money and acclaim she could suck out from Brad Pitt's name. He said I didn't marry an actress.. I wanted a wife and good mother to my children and she signed on for two more years to Friends, ignoring his woe.. that's all.

STM you rock sister!!
I was just thinking of the Sweet Valley High books the other day when I was buying my daughter a book - so your message was like an angel on this cold, cold day. I need to read that blog!!

I am late, so I apologize for jumping back to the earlier comments. Time to keep reading…

sar, no. 30— thanks… now my computer screen has snot on it!! ha!

bunchoffives– i'm beached as! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdVHZwI8pcA

ha that kills me every time.

payter, i hope you don't have anything to do for the next three days… that blog is addictive especially because i am ashamed to say i read most of the svh books back in the 80s and when my parents moved out of my childhood house they made me pick up all my crap which included 3 vintage svh books.

SCORE!

:D

Chloe,
Seriously! Why is it all of a sudden impressive for celebs to have kids and be fawned over for "handling all the work" give me a fucking break! They do so much LESS than ever before. Just one generation ago the working woman was expected to "do it all"…and they didn't have many birth control options. I hope that Brad and Angelina are able to stay together but statistics aren't in their favor.

I must have watched a different Oprah interview, 'cause it looked fine to me. I don't care about any of them, either, but it sure looks like Aniston has moved on with her life just like Pitt has moved on with his. No wonder Aniston finally spoke up and said something when that interviewer asked her a question about Jolie–holy shit, the bitch was TOTALLY inappropriate! And especially after all that spew about how she'd never cheat with a married man cause her father did it to her mother blah blah blah. Whatever, trash. And no, she is not what every woman fears. Speak for yourself. That wouldn't be saying much for women. Holy Christ Almighty.

I think that there is a huge difference between people who are interested in the Brad/Angelina/Jennifer crap and people who are interested in WHY people care about the Brad/Angelina/Jenniger crap. The latter increases your knowledge of psychology and I think it's worthwhile.
Do I think people are shocked Brad fell in love with Angelina? No. It's not like he started dating "dark slut" Meg White (obvs, I think she's more than that). He started dating the "most beautiful woman in the world."

Hey, I really like Meg White. And I would never call her a slut. I put it in quotation marks because I think that she is more of what the general person would label a slut or call unusual (and I pointed out I think she's so much more!). *Conventionally* Angelina Jolie is considered to be more beautiful than Meg White (and almost anyone on the planet, actually). I never said I agreed with this. Why did you apologize and imply that I did?
Anyhow, good for you for having unique taste. In all seriousness.

I would have to wager that very few people besides Cord would say Meg White is more beautiful than Angelina Jolie.

agreed. in fact, there's really no comparison b/t the two. angie wins.

Oh, I get it Ilnaz! You don't have time to respond to my e-mails but you have plenty of time to comment on MollyGood!lol

STM-
Saturday was offically devoted to reading that blog…never mind that I have a huge mound of laundry to do today. At least I could remind myself why I never felt quite good enough growing up - being that my hair wasn't blonde and my pants were a huge size 8. Fatso.
Always an Enid, never a Jessica or Elizabeth…

Everyone knew that he'd leave Jennifer for Jolie when Jolie was working on Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

For one, Jolie had a less than mediocre career at the time and Brad earned a gazillion dollars while married to Jennifer and before. Naturally, Jolie was going to put on her best performance (not on screen though) in order to rob the kitty and take the moneymaker from Jennifer. Jolie knew that she only had to spread her legs and get pregnant.

Photos on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith showed Jolie with her legs wrapped around Pitt while on breaks. Her legs were spread so far apart all of the orphans of the world could fit between them. She was beckoning Pitt to ravage her so that she could steal his sperm and make him leave Jennifer.

Her tricks worked. Pitt left Jennifer after Jolie told him she was pregnant. Jolie flew to Africa in order to force Pitt to fly there to be with his unborn child. In order to be with his first fetus he had to leave Jennifer to fly to Africa. He wanted a child more than a woman so he flew to Africa in desperation. The paparazzi caught them on film but Jolie turned her back to the camera so that the world couldn't see that she was already pregnant and thus inform the world of the onset adultery.

Jolie is a snake.

Jolie is The Perfect Snake.

Snow Pie, I appreciate your very thoughtful critique of this whole situation and couldn't agree more.
As a woman who has been cheated on, I can't imagine having that experience detailed throughout the media. I know a lot of woman that sympathize with Aniston in the same way as I.
I think Jolie has made great efforts to make a difference in the world around her with her humanitarian work but I think she was out of line by describing such intimate details about her relationship with Brad while he was married.
AND I heart the SVH blog. I pretty much read every book in the series, more than once. My favorite was the one where Jessica gets stranded on the island with the school nerd…Winston??

OR… they just fell in love. "He wanted a child more than a woman so he flew to Africa in desperation." Where did you even come up with this?

Avocado, I'm calling you today! And don't use "lol" here. We don't do that and you're making me look VERY UNCOOL.

I think he really wanted to love Jennifer: she is a nice enough person, cares about a variety of liberal causes which he doubt respected, probably was open and played no games with him (you know - typical girl who has learned through therapy to discuss her feelings and try to get him to do the same, etc) and what he really felt for her was more affection and friendship. But, he figured he wanted to be a dad and she is a "great girl" who smoked weed with him and wanted marriage so he proposed. She always knew in the bottom of her heart that he just wasn't crazy about her (remember how she wouldn't come out of her room on her wedding day… all the guests standing around waiting for the ceremony to begin?)but based on her parents' own acrimonious divorce figured, "Whadda I really know about a healthy relationship, anyway?" and decided this is probably what a great relationship looks like. However, soon into the marriage he began acting callous the way that a man who isn't deeply in love can behave. She got fed up but worked at it for a while. Then they had a secret trial separation.

Then comes along Jolie, who does not follow that therapy-inspired Be Open and Discuss Emotions and Game Playing Will Lead to Bad Outcomes stuff. Instead, she uses every trick in the book (I truly believe this) including capitalizing on Brad's longing to be a dad by always ensuring that Maddox bonds with him Big Time. Brad is confused, delighted, entranced and thoroughly horny in a way he never, ever was with with friendly and politically correct Jennifer and the rest is history.

I think the fascination is that people cannot believe that a limb-heavy, roided-up lip-having, brother tonguing, self-mutilating, baby-collecting psycho man-stealing gutter skank could win the hearts of so many around the world.

Mouth breathing?

If there's a mouth-breather in this whole mess, it's definitely Brad.

*sniff* i love cord.

Jen was having a miscarriage when Pitt was cheating on her with Jolie. Pitt was going to dump Jolie and go back to Jen, Jolie found out, walah…..Jolie becomes pregnant, tricks Pitt to pics in Kenya….Jen see's pics and files for divorce. Pitt begged Jen to take him back, but Jen knew better, even though she loved Pitt, once a cheater always a cheater. He lied to Jen and that broke their marriage up. Plus the fact that when Jen was going thru a heartbreaking miscarriage, Pitt was sticking it to Jolie. That had to have hurt Jen big time. Losing a child is way harder on the woman than the man.

Brangelina is the one that keeps bringing Jen into the triangle, and FINALLY Jen speaks out. She has remained classily quiet throughout the whole debacle of "Brangelina" and I for one am glad she finally said something to shut Jolie's huge gaping yapper.

I am sick of Jolie and Pitt always looks like he is in pain being forced to stand next to her, not to mention everytime he tries to leave her she poops out another bambino. Pitt is stuck until Jolie lets him go, so he will have to suck it up. Jen is glowing and all smiles now with John Meyer….I bet that eats at jealous jolies evil black heart.

jmo

How did you get the inside utero information? Did you call the Miami Nine West?

Once upon a time, while pretending to fly with the ninjas of Kyoto, I came upon really high priestess ( she was high, too .) who had a psycho psychic message/prediction intended especially for me, so that like Moses, I could ;pass this sage wisdom onto the fantards of the world who inhabit the special gossip blogs. Anyhow, the psychic Silconia Vaginity Titularis told me that when you have collected twenty children from all over the world, it is time to seriously consider propositioning Polygamyous marriage. It is time for each of them to have three partners each. She also said that Juliette Lewis could be a perfect match for Jolie. Brad could totally be best lovers with Spencer Pratt.

Then, as the high priestess of bongwater looked into the stars, she sang in an otherwordly etherial voice, "Who gives a fuck, anyways. Can you go to Circle K to get me a pack of Marlboro Reds?" Namaste

oh sheet.

I'll have a large bag of whatever the hell you're smoking.