Do Not Praise Xenu

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Despite Radar magazine's claims that Tom Cruise converted Will and Jada Pinkett Smith to Scientology, the Fresh Prince insists he is staying a Christian.

You don't have to be Jewish to be a friend of Steven Spielberg. You don't have to be a Muslim to be a friend of Muhammad Ali. And you don't have to be a Scientologist to be a friend of Tom Cruise. I am a Christian. I am a student of all religions. And I respect all people and all paths.

Kimora Lee Simmons is also denying Radar's claims she has converted, despite reports that she handed out Scientology books to New York students. Seems the church is too sketchy even for Miss Fabulosity.

But while celebs are distancing themselves from the cultlike religion, Radar's blistering six-page expose of the church says leaders are more concerned by the dissension of its former members, namely the shadowy network of ex-Scientologists known as "Anonymous." The group is credited with leaking the now-infamous recruiting tape of Cruise laughing maniacally. The pranksters/hackers also managed to crash the church's Web site for three days and post confidential Scientololgy documents and lectures on YouTube.

Expect the Anonymous members to mysteriously disappear or commit suicide in the coming months.

[Source]

Mar 18, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 34 Responses
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  • Comments (34)

    No. 1 Lisa (#1) says:

    Added Smith, "You do have to be gay, though. Wait, is that what you mean by Scientologist? Well, you don't have to be a 'Scientologist,' but it sure helps. Hey-OH!"

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 3:14 pm
    No. 2 punchdrunkbunny says:

    Scientologists say that you can be Christian or Catholic and still be a Scientologist. If they consider Scientology a religion, how does this make sense? That's like saying you can be Muslim and Christian at the same time…don't think so! Just shows how shady they are. I think George Washington is their god.

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 3:33 pm
    No. 3 saddy-pants says:

    I knew this was false- i hardly think a star with the box office pull of Will Smith would put his bank roll in jeaprody after watching Tom Cruise's spectacular free fall. I am like Will Smith in my equality response to all religions only I think they are all equally corrupt and bullshit. Faith is one thing, religion quite another.

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 3:38 pm
    No. 4 mcjuje says:

    I only respect religions who worship rat like creatures.

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 3:48 pm
    No. 5 Brandon says:

    The "Anonymous"? lmao. How very Illuminati. Leave it to a religion based on a work of fiction to sound like a work of fiction.

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 4:09 pm
    No. 6 McSugar is McPissed says:

    Hail Rumple.

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 4:11 pm
    No. 7 SnackySmores says:

    mcjuje: You mean ROUS?

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 4:13 pm
    No. 8 mcjuje says:

    More like, ROUF. Rodent of unusual fierceness. He's no tranny mess.

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 4:33 pm
    No. 9 SnackySmores says:

    But does he have the walk?

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 4:43 pm
    No. 10 jill says:

    Have you guys seen those Anonymous videos?? Creepy as hell. I mean it had my glock always on his hip cop boyfriend looking over his shoulders like a baby.

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 5:07 pm
    No. 11 mcjuje says:

    He's got walks for miles. Wrap your mind around that.

    I don't know who to be more afraid of. Scientologists or the anons? I say we throw both of them in the thunderdome and let them fight it out.

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 5:26 pm
    No. 12 jill says:

    Yeah I'd have to say both are equally creepy.

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 5:31 pm
    No. 13 mcjuje says:

    They did go through the program so they probably picked up the creepiness there and have now upped the creepy factor. They are fighting creepy with creepy and we all must suffer.

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 5:43 pm
    No. 14 SnackySmores says:

    There are only two things in this world that scare me, scientologists and carnies. They're nomads you know, smell like cabbage… small hands.

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 6:08 pm
    No. 15 Ruby Jackson says:

    I think Katie Holmes is "Anonymous".

    And, if they die, how will we know?! They are anonymous!

    Posted: Mar 18, 2008 at 6:20 pm
    No. 16 Frowny McBeard says:

    Wow, this is rich. Anonymous has been around for years having nothing to do with the Church of Scientology.

    You all fail the internets.

    Posted: Mar 19, 2008 at 10:09 am
    No. 17 biggins says:

    What a load of BULLCRAP!!!!

    Who writes this unresearched crap about Anon?
    Idiots, pure idiots. go do proper research ya morans!

    Posted: Mar 22, 2008 at 5:49 pm
    No. 18 Anonymous says:

    Two things.

    1) We're not all ex-Scienotologists. There are some, but nowhere near all of us.

    2) We're not going away any time soon. Sorry to burst your bubble on that. We're going to keep coming back to protest, every month, until this dangerous cult is shut down for good.

    Posted: Mar 22, 2008 at 5:52 pm
    No. 19 anonymous says:

    Despite what this article says, most people in anonymous are not ex members of Scientology. I've never been a Scientologist. I'm not disappearing and I certainly have no intention of killing my self. This article is poorly researched.

    Posted: Mar 22, 2008 at 5:54 pm
    No. 20 Anonymous says:

    I think the article is referring to the shadowy past of Scientology with the disappear comment, and the death of Shawn Lonsdale (among many others), a vocal critic of the 'church' who died in an apparent 'suicide' earlier this year.
    Check it out yourself:
    xenu.net
    http://www.whyaretheydead.net
    youfoundthecard.com

    Posted: Mar 22, 2008 at 6:28 pm
    No. 21 Ann Onymous says:

    Again, we are not all ex-scientologists. Do some proper research next time.

    http://www.enturbulation.org
    http://www.xenu.net

    Posted: Mar 22, 2008 at 6:37 pm
    No. 22 Anonymous says:

    No. 20 is right, this article bashes sci.

    Posted: Mar 22, 2008 at 7:08 pm
    No. 23 Anonymiss says:

    We may be creepy, but have you considered the reason we wear such 'creepy' masks it that we are not willing to become 'fair game'?

    Look it up for yourself

    http://www.xenu.net
    http://www.goanonymous.org

    Posted: Mar 22, 2008 at 7:49 pm
    No. 24 LONGCAT says:

    we r not xscifagz, we r intarnat haet machine

    Posted: Mar 22, 2008 at 8:04 pm
    No. 25 Ozarka says:

    WOW! Do YOU have the wrong information, Mollygood! Gotta like seeing the egg on your face on this one. lol

    Posted: Mar 22, 2008 at 8:16 pm
    No. 26 Lol Wut? says:

    LOL.

    A 'stalker-atzi' website commenting on how a 'creepy' bunch of anonymous individuals will 'commit suicide'. Honestly, let's take a brief look a this.

    1) We have an organization devoted to bringing down a cult that has ruined thousands of lives.

    2) We have an organization devoted to eating up the useless dingleberries that falls from 'famous' asshats, so that people without any sort of personality can read up on this inane tidbit of information, go flick their bean and sleep next to a man they keep dreaming was someone else.

    Wow… It's so nice getting some perspective on all of this.

    TL;DR Check facts nextime stupid wanna-be tabloid. You probably don't have enough capital to even get an inital print run on 40% post-use consumer grade.

    Posted: Mar 22, 2008 at 8:37 pm
    No. 27 anon says:

    Please look into the anon group before commenting on them in an article. There are few 'hackers' among us and most of the information we have given has been on the internet for a long time, its just that it was being ignored.

    Also the church cannot stop anonymous in the same way that you would not be able to if you wanted to. No one knows who anyone is, there are no leaders, everyone can be replaced and for each one of us that falls more take our place o.O

    Posted: Mar 22, 2008 at 9:17 pm
    No. 28 Whitney says:

    @Lol Wut?, Ozarka, biggins, Anonymous, Anonymiss and Ann Onymous:

    My suicide comment was, like No. 20 said, a reference to the sudden disappearance/suicide of people who have spoken out against Scientology. It was in no way a jab at Anonymous.

    And the text in blue was not written by me, it was quoted from another article from the NY Daily News (hence that large blue quotation mark). I never said I believed all members of Anonymous were ex-Scientologists.

    Posted: Mar 22, 2008 at 9:23 pm
    No. 29 XeunChan says:

    "Expect the Anonymous members to mysteriously disappear or commit suicide in the coming months."

    I am an anonymous person, I have never been, nor will I ever become a member of scientology, therefore the assertion that Anonymous is comprised only of Ex-Scientologists is incorrect. Secondly, I do not plan on EVER committing suicide or mysteriously disappearing. If that ever does happen to me, you have the Corporation of Scientology to blame as they have undoubtedly kidnapped and/or murdered me…this goes for the rest of Anonymous as well. We won't be going away until the Corporation of Scientology ends it's human rights violations. If we do disappear or die off suddenly it will be the biggest massacre of innocent people since the holocaust.

    Posted: Mar 22, 2008 at 11:21 pm
    No. 30 iguanona says:

    Anonymous=SRS BSNS GUYS!!

    Apparently.

    Posted: Mar 22, 2008 at 11:28 pm
    No. 31 soupresif parson says:

    The disappear/suicide comment was pretty obvious and I think it's funny so many anons took it as…what? a threat from the blogger? Obviously it was a reference to Fair Game and that's cool.
    However, Anonymous isn't a creepy group of ex-religious nuts. It's a creepy group of irreverent internetsters who happen to oppose greedy dangerous cults. And love cake.

    Posted: Mar 23, 2008 at 11:26 am
    No. 32 lulz says:

    This article makes me sooo sad i'm gonna become an hero ;_;

    Posted: Mar 23, 2008 at 8:35 pm
    No. 33 Anonymiss says:

    I take that comment as a thread.

    Remember Paulette Cooper!

    Posted: Mar 30, 2008 at 6:21 pm
    No. 34 Libraesque says:

    Sadly, will smith has taken his buddy tc's place recently in the say-dumbass-ignorant-shit category. I saw an interview with him the other night and he said people who bash tc and scientology are irresponsible "cuz they don't know nuthin' about him or scientology"
    That may be the most naive, un-informed thing I've heard in a long time.
    It is BECAUSE people have spent their time educating themselves on this criminal organization that they oppose it and speak out against it and are TRYING to make positive changes.
    What's even more pathetic is WS has no clue that it was tc's JOB to befriend him.

    Posted: Apr 2, 2008 at 12:12 pm
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