Tom and Katie (and Suri!) have arrived in Rome a week before their wedding, I imagine delighting paparazzi who haven't gotten a bush-hiding vacation since Namibia in the spring. Meanwhile, the New York Times did a little bit of research on what the couple's Scientology vows might sound like. Not to invite the wrath of the believers or anything, but parts kind of read like a Dr. Seuss book:

For example, in the traditional Scientology ceremony, when the bridegroom promises to “keep her, well or ill,” he is also asked, “And when she’s older, do you then keep her still?”

Otherwise, it's just your standard list of possible needs and wants:

[T]he bridegroom might hear the Scientology minister proffer this advice, part of what the church refers to as the traditional ceremony: “Now, Tom, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat. All caprice if you will, but still they need them.”

And Ms. Holmes could be told: “Hear well, sweet Katie, for promise binds. Young men are free and may forget. Remind him then that you may have necessities and follies, too.”

Phooey, I like the Seussian parts more.

Will you make her Silently Birth?
Won't you demand she looses that pregnancy girth?
Can't you? Shan't you? Tom-a-lom.

[Source, Source, Source]