Achtung, white people, all your stuff's ours now. We're coming for everything you once held dear and will leave you huddled around a trash fire like hobos in some sort of racial nuclear winter. Guess you should have read the fine print on those "HOPE" posters.
Starting immediately, YOUR beloved movie characters will be replaced with OUR beloved movie stars. Not only does Daniel Craig think it's time for a black James Bond, Jaden Smith, son of non-threatening African American male Will, has just been tapped to star in a remake of 80s hit The Karate Kid. The original starred the nerdy but lovable Ralph Macchio, but that was before November 4, 2008. Make room for a real black belt, Hollywood.
Next, we're coming for the womenfolk, surfing and French cuisine. Yes we can.
Editor
You're hilarious, Cord! :) Love it.
Felicia
If y'all "black folks" are coming for us white "women folk," I'd like to sign up to be one of the first inductees . . . especially if Cord is the one doing the inducting!!
You forgot about Beyonce vying for the Wonder Woman role. Sheesh. Oh, and for once I'm excited for the bastardization of a good 80's movie. My fiancee LOVES this movie and I'm sick of watching it. Hopefully the shitty new one ruins it for him.
If Jaden holds true to the original and dresses up as a shower complete with curtain, I'm in. But, who would get to play super-dick Johnny? I think Billy Zapka's a bit long-in-the-tooth to reprise his breakout role.
silly Cord, everyone knows black people don't swim.
I don't understand why the Smith's insist on making their children movie stars. It's creepy.
You can totally have French cuisine.
Oooh… a black James Bond, that has the potential to get sexy as hell, real quick. But it's gotta be someone right for the role - you can't just throw Denzel in the movie and call it a day. He seems very responsible and level headed. I need someone a little bit gritty and a little bit crazy. Like a Johnny Depp persona. Oooh… yeah, that is a really good idea I just had. Who can fill the role…
@Leslie - if they don't make them movie stars, how will they ever be able to afford their thetan cleansing? honestly. If you wanna be a Scientologist, you have to start saving pennies when you're 5.
A black Gordon Ramsay ….are you trying to be funny Cord, you complete & utter wanker?
Any cunt can fry a fucking chicken.
sar, Denzel can totally handle bringing the suave+crazy. Two words: Training Day. And what a day…what a mu'fuckin' DAY.
The sad thing about this post is that here in NC there are too many people that believe this. One of my friends swears that blacks are looking at her different now and being "more disrespectful".
Are there any Black Bankers ?
et, I agree on Denzel. I heard so many people wonder if he "really deserved" the oscar for training day.
after I saw the movie, I can say unequivocally that YES, he deserved it. however, I think that Denzel is too obvious of a choice.
they should go with someone that's sort of "unknown", like Craig was (to a lot of people) before he was picked.
This guy…
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0924552/
is smoking hot, but I don't know if he's got the chops for it. and he's a little young.
He looks too smiley and young. What about Blair Underwood, he is still foine.
well…he's not ALWAYS smiley…but he is definitely too young.
but those milk-chocolatey brown eyes make me melt. YUM.
Brian J. White can't pull off being Bond. Sexy? Yes, but a Bond he is not. May I suggest Idris Elba?
I am already kicking my own ass for saying this, but Terrence Howard might be good.
Re-making the Karate Kid? That should be illegal. Stop raping my child hood! I don't trust those Smith children, I think they may be in scientolo training.
Ruining America, one step at a time.
I dunno who Idris Elba is, but I googled his photo and he has my vote.