Why am I confused here? Is it time for a Diet Coke, or has Cord decided to use a cryptoquote or something?

(!) ?

uh oh! better watch it star…cord gave you his signature "best, cord" line. lol

The thing is, Star's not the first, last, or only report on a lot of this. Even people who Britney still claims as friends have made public statement about her doing a lot of this.

Now, the actual headline? That I'm not so sure about. But general accusations, hell. Britney's made damn sure her public image is as low as it can get, and she does that purely voluntary.

Or even voluntarily.

pretty much everything in Star is false. now i'm not saying brit is a good mother because we all know it's not true but Star just makes up shit to sell magazines. all the rag mags do it but Star is by far the worst.

Don't P!nk (couldn't resist keeping with the exclamation theme) and Carey Hart have an open marriage? So how would that be cheating?

i think if its printed in star then its not true. which means ive been wrong about britney all along. GET HER THE MOTHER OF THE YEAR AWARD QUICK

I don't think Pink and Hart have an open marriage. At least from stuff I've seen.

My first impression when I saw that picture of Brit-Twit was it looks like she is walking down some rural road in Louisiana, back down to the trailer park, after her '67 Camaro (It's still bein' restored y'all!) broke down!

Do tell, Kitchy, what have you seen?

I thought I saw some interview with her from before they were married saying that they are together when they are together, but when they aren't they can see other people. Of course, all bets could have been off when they actually GOT married.

I just mean from articles I've read - I seem to remember Pink threatening him with bodily harm if he ever cheated on her.

Although I'm still wondering why someone would sex up Pink to begin with. Hart, I can handle. Except he came across as a total asshole on Inked.

I liked him on Surreal Life. I was hoping maybe you saw Pink pull a knife on a chick for looking at Carey on Wilshire Blvd or something.

This is going to be one popcorn eating trial. Or maybe cheetos? I think what is in Star is just the tip of the iceberg. I wonder if the whole trial will be private?

I think it'd be more likely to be Pink eyeing other women.

Oh, let it be on Court TV. I would happily sit in front of the TV with Cheetos and Pepsi and take it all in.

Oh man you know what would be awesome? If they did those re enactments on E like during the Jackson trial. That might even be better than watching the real thing.

So I have been working a low-level, continuous chuckle for about 5 minutes. Especially about "y'all crying ass babies was a mistake." We need to have national talk like Britney day. Y'all!

I'm gonna smack my gum all day. Oh and I'm gunna fine me some stank ass boots and wear them with ma cut off daisy dukes.

and torn fishnets juju, and that annoying teensy gold purse, oh and don't forget Sean P's smokes!!!!

That's why I hafta whiten their teeth, y'all. All that smokin', Coke-drinkin', and candy-eatin' stains yer teeth sumpin' awful.

A smoking baby is the best accessory to have. If you run out you can always bum some from your toddler.

god who would have thought she'd be a frickin train wreck…note to self: do NOT let my daughter whore out her image and coy sexuality as a teenybopper poptart. Or date Justin Timberlake.

Or make a movie with Kim Catrall.

Meanwhile, back in her Louisiana parallel universe, Brit-Twit ponders her conundrum…"Dang it, Sean Preston! How is Momma gonna make her shift tonight down at Billy Bob's Truckstop and Boob Emporium without any wheels?! And I'm outta lollipops! Can Momma bum one of yours? I'll buy you a whole cartoon on pay day baby, promise, unless I done get myself fired first!"
Without the fame and money that would be her life…"As The Trailer Park Turns"…

That kid never shares his smokes.

Greedy smoke hoggin' little bastard. No wonder she didn't want him.

When they get old enough she can teach then how to make mojitos just the way mommy like them.

Nah. They'll just fetch her a PBR outta the fridge on the porch.

"Dang it! It looks like I'm gonna have to call your sorry-assed, good for nuthin' Deddy, or your skank-ass whore of a Granny to give me a ride! Momma needs a drink…Sean, honey, could you fetch Momma a beer? If you do you can have a sip of mine. And don't shake it up this time! That ain't funny! I still ain't got the smell from the last one outta my weave yet!"

Ok, I'll stop now… you guys just keep giving me these hilarious visual images of babies sharing smokes and "fetchin'" beer. Will Ferrell would have a field day with this stuff.

lol bedbugs you are a riot.

You guys crack me up :D

Bedbugs that was awesome! Maybe SP can help his papa out with puttin' the spinners on his '79 Chevy pick up.

papa can't afford spinners, maybe sp can help papa attach playing cards to the spokes of his sweet bike he'll be riding to work at taco bell.

I just noticed something…this mag was sooo far off. you know damn well britney didn't say "you were", they totally should have put YALL on the cover…