I would just like to extend a warm and sincere welcome to Kim Kardasian, Nick Lachey's new girlfriend. You're looking good and hanging out with just the herpes you should to get ahead in this town. You know what they say, friends who Sidekick together, stay together.

Kardasian, you seem like a nice enough girl. According to Celebitchy, you're even buying your shoes on eBay. Celebrties, they get scammed, just like us! Your Positive Feedback Rating is 100% on the auction block and in my heart.

Lets just hope you stay around long enough that I don't regret actually learning how to spell your name.