Though I've never heard of Zoo Magazine (and while I'm frustrated to discover there are still magazines that put the word "magazine" in their names), I must admit that "Retox" is probably the best title ever to accompany a Lindsay Lohan piece. Leave it up to the Germans to call it like it is despite controversy (boy, did that sound anti-Semitic). Now to figure out why they're doing an article on a loser who continually pisses away opportunity.

More from Zoo after the jump.